Why Love Grows Cold

cold love, ice heart

In one of my last few posts I looked at the loving of self. This is a vital, crucial requirement of our God. We love others as we love ourself not the other way around. If we fail to love ourselves we won’t be able to love others. And in this time and season of the increase of darkness it is going to become more and more difficult to actually stay in love—love for God, love for self, and love of others. The temperature of our love is becoming cold. Yes, the temptation is to let our love grow cold in the face of evil. So I want to look at why love grows cold for a few posts and then maybe return to self-love.

In the end, the love of most will grow cold. Why love grows cold? What affects our love to make it run cold? Love is a hot emotion and passion is anything but frigid.  So what makes the love of most wax cold in the end times?  Oh, it’s the crafty plan of Satan, which shadows us all. In the last days, the love of most will grow cold because of the increase of evil (Matthew 24:12). And most attribute this to becoming evil. Yet I see another side of this, the cooling of our love out of frustration because we’re a daily witness to the evil.

Love Growing Cold

Love Growing Cold
I’m discouraged today because of my awareness of much sin. You can’t pass through this world and not have it cling to you like a slime. Sin stinks, and as it increases, the temptation of the godly is to give in to discouragement and to lose focus. If Satan can dim our hope and take our focus, he has us in his grasp. It becomes like a veil that skews our vision.

Understand this happens to the godliest among us. Continual seeing of sin breaks our spirits down. Look at Moses, a godly man for sure. In the will of God, he held the standard and delivered a nation from the hands of a tyrannical regime. He was appointed as the judge and leader  And in the end, the daily weight of sin buckled his faith and frustrated his resolve (Num. 20:11, 12).

Moses, a great man of faith, struck the rock rather than speaking the word. Why? I believe it was frustration with the people he himself was called to. The sins of many weighed down his soul one day at a time. It was like laying stones on a thatched roof. At some point, the weight will overwhelm and crash through.

So what I am seeing is that Satan’s plan is to weigh our hearts down, slowly and undetectably, until our hearts cool and wax cold. It isn’t like passionate love gets cold overnight. It cools by degrees over time.

Making Love Grow Cold

Making Love Grow Cold
So what’s the answer? Well, I know what it’s not. For me, it’s not retreating as a monk to a holy rock pedestal, wearing a diaper on the top of a mountain. I can’t leave the world to be alone, because at the end of the day, even though I’d be freed from others, I’d still be there with all my mess. So what is the answer? Glory!

In honest dependence, He is the only one who can lift my face. When the weight of sin weighs down my heart and discourages my pursuit, I turn to Him. It’s not my weight to carry. It’s not my burden to bear. He’s the resolve of my heart and the hope of my walk. I look to Him, in all my desperation, within my disheartened state, and He will take up my leaded heart and discouraged thoughts. And in the place of my weight of despair, He will reveal His weight of GLORY. Not by my demand or even desperate need, but in His faithfulness, according to His timing.

Cold Love

And He rescued righteous Lot, greatly worn out and distressed by the wanton ways of the ungodly and lawless—For that just man, living [there] among them, tortured his righteous soul every day with what he saw and heard of [their] unlawful and wicked deeds—
2 Peter 2:7-8 (AMP)

 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”
2 Corinthians 4:16–17

But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
 2 Corinthians 3:16–18

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    • Tina

      Just before I read this I read a devotional message that I rarely do, but it caught my attention. It was a old message by David Wilkerson titled from Glory to Glory.
      Sharing about our need to behold the glory of the Lord daily.

      “We all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

      “The Greek word for beholding in this verse is a very strong expression. It indicates not just taking a look, but “fixing the gaze.” It means deciding, “I won’t move from this position. Before I do anything else, before I try to accomplish a single thing, I must be in God’s presence.” D. Wilkerson.

      It is only as I remember that His grace and mercy abound when sin abounds…that all Power and authority is His and evil only a tool in His hand. Believing this requires intently focusing on the life and nature of Christ and that of His Father’s glory. It means seeing all things through His eyes and gaining His perspective in every evil manifested, whether within me or in someone close enough to cause fear to rise in my heart.

      God is either Sovereign in ALL things and in Him all things consist, and all things are made for His purpose, or I am and we are doomed.

      Father show us Your glory in the face of all the manifested evil about us and give us grace to not fear. Let our faith please you as we surrender to Your care and authority in all rejections, all troubles and trials in Jesus name.

    • Wanda

      Thank you, John. I really needed that today. Thank you, Tina for your comment.

    • Gaby

      This is just so true!
      Thank you for that note, it is a great help.
      Never seen 2 Cor.3 in that connection!

    • Steve M

      Is it not possible that what happens is not necessarily the increase of evil but rather our “focus” of our vision turns from Christ and to “the world and its corruption”. When our eye is focused on Christ all the world and the sin that abides in it is all still there but it is all faded into the background. We have not been removed from this world but rather we remain in it but because of our focused eye is upon our savior it is all background. But when we change our eye focus then he fades into the background and our focus becomes that which we have laid our eye upon. That affects what then our heart dwells and feeds on. What we yearn for is the singularity of our eyesight to be on Christ and him alone. When it strays irregardless of the amount of sin abounding around us, we are then subject to its affect.

      • shulamite

        Yes, Steve that is precisely it. It’s all about our focus and what we’re focused upon. I so agree with your statement. But the angle I am taking this is not with the casual onlooker but the one with vesting. The one, like Moses, who was given the responsibility and became disheartened as he worked daily with the people in their rebellion. The answer is the same as you have laid out. Moses let his eye fall from God to the problem, and this is the very temptation. And when we indulge this tempt . . . our love grows cold. Thank you for your comment.

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    • Diane Wall

      I had never seen that about Lot being “greatly worn out”. We have experienced some of that , here in our local body. I’ve been greatly encouraged thru this word and also Tina’s comments. I’ll be sharing this with others here. Thank you John and Tina. Thank you Lord!

    • Irene

      So much to ponder in this post and in the comments. I am ever grateful for this site where I can come to be fed and reminded that it is All of Him. I am encouraged that even in this evil environment, retail stores, tree lots, even the news decrying the war on Christmas, is proclaiming His Name: Christ. In every little town across our nation, God’s children are celebrating the birth of Christ The Savior. It keeps me mindful that He Is indeed The King of Kings, He rules and reigns right now.

    • Susan

      A lot of ‘church’ people profess to be christians these days as we gear towards The Last Days. But Christ Himself said we must ‘go into the world and make DISCIPLES of all nations….” Matt 28:19-20 (not CONVERTS). What i’ve observed is that most christians are pursuing BLESSINGS and not the BLESSOR Himself. bcoz this is what has been preached over the pulpit in many prosperity gospel churches thereby making material blessings as the benchmark of being ‘favored’ by God. this i think results to a lot of frustration and it makes them work more in order to prove something thus results to burn out and coldness. another reason i have seen is a lack of the IN-FILLING of The Holy Spirit. yes He dwells in there but not allowed nor invited to be led and filled to the overflow. the FIRE of the Holy Spirit has been quenched for lack of oil

    • tammy

      I forget sometimes that my prayer is often, “whatever it takes Lord, whatever it takes to bring us to Your will…”

      “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” 2 Cor. 4:17

      I praise You Father for every affliction that draws us ever closer to You. Forgive me for carrying the burden. I repent for not trusting in Your ways. I pray for the passionate Blood of Christ to team through this vessel defeating all of Satans attempts to render my heart cold. In the precious Name of my Savior. Amen.

      Bless this ministry and all who are fed through it.

      • I join your prayer Tammy. It’s perfect. And the 2 Corinthians 4 verse is one I go too often. Love you my friend and sister!

    • Wynona E. Sterne

      God’s been showing me our only safe place is a abiding in Him not just with Him. He is our home now in this world of darkness, He is our light and sure foundation!!

      • Such a key point Wynona! Love you so!

    • Rachel

      Psalm 121 came to mind while I was reading this post. I WILL, by choice, lift up my eyes and He will do everything in HIS power!

      “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
      From where shall my help come?
      My help comes from the Lord,
      Who made heaven and earth.
      He will not allow your foot to slip;
      He who keeps you will not slumber.
      Behold, He who keeps Israel
      Will neither slumber nor sleep.

      The Lord is your keeper;
      The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
      The sun will not smite you by day,
      Nor the moon by night.
      The Lord will protect you from all evil;
      He will keep your soul.
      The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
      From this time forth and forever.”

      • Oh Rachel thank you for posting this up here. Psalm 121 is a great addition! Love and blessing!

    • Fenton

      The Lord has been speaking to me about remembering the goodness of God. I see more and more we will need to remember who God is in the face of circumstances.

      • So great to hear from you Fenton! What you have said is right on. Remembering His goodness is so key, especially when in difficulty. Thanking Him the Spirit is there always to bring His goodness to mind. Bless you!

    • Russ

      Such a timely post! so true. It is so easy to get caught up in the astonishment of in- your-face deceit, confusion and lies being perpetrated today. We can’t hide from it, and we can’t deny it, so what are we to do? …. As for and me and my house we will serve the Lord….. For me, on a base level, that means trusting and believing in His word no matter what, that’s our job, our call as believers. Stay faithful brothers and sisters, God has it under control.

      • Thank you so much Russ! This is a good word, actually great word. I have been astonished as well, and often feel trapped. There is no answer besides GOD. So I stand with you, our house will serve Him too, and He is in control!

    • Richard Waters

      Cold love comes as we give in to the orphan spirit. We fell all alone and abandoned from loved ones and God. Like prodigales, we realize that the heart of Kingdom living is to return our attention back to the Father’s heart and run back. Passionate love comes from this secure place in Dad as He gifts us in His love. Allow this subjective revelation of Love time to sink into your spirit that it becomes a natural response in life. We were created for the Kingdom and all flows from that place.

    • Helen

      If my eyes are tuned to the mess, it will affect all I see. In the city, in the news, the brazenness of evil can be unbearable to see…& the entitlement & indifference acting like achievement & freedom, deaf to all that’s of true value. His faithfulness & His timing, these are the beams of His Love & His Glory that turn my face & tune my heart. The Lord doesn’t retreat, He entreats, or i wouldn’t be here. There’s not someplace ‘else’ to be, HE is our place. He’s the One looking through our eyes, He can bear it…He did bear it…He discerns, defines, determines. You’ve bright to light John, what we don’t really want to look at, to alert us to bring our hearts really to Him in it. That last scripture, (2 Cor.3:16-18), His glory! In the face of anything & everything. Jesus bursting forth! in purpose. “This is My Beloved Son “

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