Wants Needs and Should Haves

egg with markings off days until hatching

I would like to piggyback off of Jennifer’s series on parents and my recent post on “My Way.”  This is just another example of my wants needs and should haves yielding to God’s ways as perfect.

I told Martha the other day, if you are on this planet, then you have parents.  None of us were hatched. And because we are fallen, they will have inevitably sinned against us and we will most certainly be discontent with God’s choice.  This is just the soup we are stirred in.  But I want to mention, without accusation or disrespect, God’s perfect choice of my father.

My father was not an effusive man. I wanted more from him than he could give.  And as a very expressive person, I have fought for and sought after this interaction all my life.  God’s response has been to block all my attempts, a very painful and shaming reality.

This is a lesson that was not accepted easily.  I have struggled with this most of my life, if not all of it. What I wanted in a father was not given to me as I demanded, and so I opposed God on this ground throughout my life. I thought because I wanted it, I needed it and should have had it.  This made me believe I was a victim of God and my father, and so I was justified in my wrong responses.

What I am coming to learn (slowly, I know) is that God’s ways are perfect.  I didn’t have an effusive father because I didn’t NEED a father who was engaging.  All my wants didn’t equal God producing it.  God as my Maker knows me so completely, down to my fulfillment.  My struggle to have something other than His choice and knowledge of me, placed me counter to Him.  We all have a checklist of how we should have been satisfied – and weren’t.  I couldn’t have responded in any other way; I was a sinner resistant to the core.

But now that I am a new creation, I can view it all with new eyes.  His Will is my best friend!  My surrender is connecting to that Will and to Him.

David suffered indifference and disregard from his own father. He was forgotten and left in the field when Samuel came to choose one of Jesse’s sons. But here’s what David said in Psalm 27:10 – “For my father and my mother have forsaken, but the Lord will take me in.”

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    • pearl

      How enlightening is this…and David was what? A man after God’s own heart…He had a heart After His heavenly Father’s heart. What if his dad was all he needed, then He wouldn’t have pursued the Heavenly Father’s heart!!!

      • shulamite

        WOW Pearl, that is awesome! It provides insight into the making of the man huh . . .
        Bless you

    • pearl

      Yup it does and it provides insight into each of our lives…I am
      now so thanksful for the parents I had and the mom …who was not there
      for me emotionally the way “I” wanted…now I have “hymn” He is my song, my father, mother, sister and brother…my best friend and love of my life…He encompasses it all…He truly is all I need!!!!

    • Sandy

      “His Will is my best friend!”

      …I really like that!

    • Sharon

      Amen Sandy John and Pearl. I know that David really did love his parents, he took care of his parents honored his parents got them out of harms way, Providing a safe haven for them for a while yet he knew that his parents had deserted him earlier on. He had a heart and God kind of love for them. Awesome!!!!!!

    • Tina

      Yes, I am coming more and more to accept His silence and His Sovereignty in this regard as He untangles the places within my heart. It is truly only Him that I need. I have often sought God through the vessel of others believing that it was in my willingness to humble myself to be in need and vulnerability that was the key to finding Him. “If I can only find someone who understands and provides a safety for me to be naked and undone…” Jeanne Guyon’s autobiography opened the door to trusting God’s Sovereignty and shining light on the path of being able to find God and trust Him in the midst of personal rejection. This message of submission to suffering and seeing it as love not condemnation is one that God is untangling. To be able to receive silence as love and not the voices of disgust and self-hatred that the enemy spews is a step…

    • Sam

      Amen to all of you.

      I find amazing this God that would not cooperate and would frustrate our man-made plans and wills. He is at the door, attentive to our choices and motions towards Joy… or Self.

      David is just a mystery. As with all those rulers in the Scripture that had a single Eye, he came out of nowhere to rule and reign. But that’s not completely true. David had a very definite Home and Father and Family before he confronted Goliath.

      For sure he was already reigning with God before he was known. May He find us as David was found when He comes.

      Lord, your calling is so worthy.

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    • […] really want to go into something today as an addendum to my “Wants, Needs and Should Haves” post.  To do this, I have to go into a realm that is a little odd.  I have to dive into a […]

    • Barb

      Excellent! I could really relate to this post in many ways.

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