No Homo! Fearful Manhood

No Homo two thumbs up boy

Wow, men now feel the need to say ‘no homo’ when expressing their emotions. When I first heard the phrase “No Homo!” I recoiled. It just shocked me that we’ve come to this in our Western world. But as a man who often expresses my emotions, and sometimes has it met with a fearful blank stare, I understand adopting this phrase as a means of self-protection.

Defining No Homo

An online dictionary explains “no homo” as “a phrase used after one inadvertently says something that sounds gay.”

For instance: “Dude, you’re so awesome. No homo! Lol.”
Or: “I swear, I am so glad you are my best friend. No homo!

No Homo
Yes, male teens and young adults have largely adopted this phrase into mainstream usage. It’s a safe way of expressing yourself emotionally and not being ridiculed. Tragically, boys and men are being taught to filter their emotions through caveats. I came across the following statement on the subject by a British psychologist:  “As a psychologist, I see how using the phrase has potential for allowing greater emotional expression between men.”

Well, I want to state my personal opinion on what I see as the plans of the enemy. This is nothing more than the continuation of the isolation of men and the annihilation of true manhood. Men for years have been isolated from one another.  We’ve been told we are more bestial than human by the media and feminists.  And most men I speak with have few, if any, friends.  We are being systematically corralled, trained not to feel and not to be true men.

The most awe-inspiring men are also the ones who live out loud, men living unbridled and unhindered by fear of weaker souls’ judgment.  People often gather to these men because of their confidence. But when confidence and assertiveness is actually seen in a man, there is a polarized response. Either people flock to it or try to squelch it.  For most, manhood has been diabolically assaulted. Men live in fear that the small amounts of masculinity that they still have left will be crushed…hence “No Homo!”

I’ve met two men in my life who have exhibited true virility. Both were men of God and inspired confidence in me.  I had a passionate love for each of them, and I believe for good reason – neither of them propped up their manhood and ego at the expense of mine.  Each of them actually called forth my confidence within my openhearted receptivity of them.  One was Art Katz and the other was a missionary in Guatemala named Peter Farrant.  My expressed love of them was natural and received by both because they were real men.  I needed no caveat to bumper my admiration of them. They received it and reciprocated.

Both of these outstanding men received and loved me with open affection. Each wanted me to come work with them. It wasn’t the Will of God, but I could have easily tied my destiny to either of them. I had plans of going to serve with Peter when he died in a scuba diving accident with his son in the Yucatan. And when I met Art, though I loved him dearly, I had been called to Martha and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I feel both these men died prematurely. The world needs such men! I still miss them both but I have a residual impartation of Life from each. The Life in them begat Life in me, no matter how short the time we had together. This is the nature of true manhood in Christ—LIFE.

What virile men have is the ability to carry seed. Manhood is being attacked to prevent raw life force from coming forth and effecting change.  We have thousands upon thousands of men called to express Life who have been emasculated.  The impotence of masculinity is a tragic sight. True manly character needs no caveat to express love. Love is Life and flows naturally. Fledgling manhood lies smoldering in the ashes of shamed masculinity and the fear of perversion. We’re so afraid of sexuality that we lop off our own manhood in fear.

As a Christian man, I will never be able to harness my sexuality through my fear of it. Flesh can’t contain what only Spirit can control.  Our only safety as men of God is to abandon ourselves to our Father God who desires to direct our passions. He’s able to keep us and we’re safe only in His hands. It’s amazing that for fear of a perception of homosexuality – not even actual homosexuality – we will kill our hearts and our destiny.

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    • Tina

      John the most attractive and powerful men have found the honest freedom of emotional vulnerability and expression.
      God is going to set His beloved men free and restore their hearts!

    • Irene

      John, how very brave of you to post these thoughts. The world and the devil have truly messed up gender issues, but for seekers of the Lord’s wisdom, such as you, there is indeed freedom in knowing the full expression of who we are in Him and Who He Is in us. Great post, I shared it with my husband who nodded affirmatively as he read it and said a hearty “Yes!” P.S. I am so glad you are working with Shulamite.

    • Joanna

      Thank you for speaking the TRUTH! My state of Wisconsin just made it legal for Homosexuals to marry last Friday:( This is not God’s will. He ordained it to be one man and one woman fom the begining of time.
      Rise up o men of God! The family, church and government needs male leaders who are willing to stand up for the Truth of Jesus Christ.

      • Jack

        I’m not sure if you read the whole thing, but John wasn’t talking about homosexuality at all. He also wasn’t telling us to “man up” and I’d really hate for their to be confusion. I was so encouraged by the wisdom here, an acknowledgement of how broken many men are, but with love and not contempt. This is very anointed for me and I just don’t want to se it hijacked by politics. Thanks John for speaking hard truth with grace.

        • Joanna

          I am truly sorry:( I didn’t mean to hijack or speak contemptuously. Please forgive me. You are right this isn’t the place for a political soap box. Guess I was just speaking out in frustration:(

          • A.J.

            I would also like to add – that I believe the heart behind John’s message here is actually what brings people the freedom to NOT fall into homosexuality. If men felt more free to give and receive love and affection in healthy ways, they would have less of a love deficit. Speaking out against homosexuality more often than not actually harms the people who are in that lifestyle. They are already rejected by the church, the world, and their family. Maybe we should learn to let go of all of our soap boxes and just put on love toward our brothers and sisters. God is capable of bringing correction where it needs to be. Just a thought… wanted to share. Much love to all who read this post.

    • Sam

      Sorry, I could not help a bit of laugh. Do you imagine David saying Jonathan… “Uh… Jonathan, I love you more than my own life, your love has been greater to me than the love of a woman… NO HOMO, dude!”


      It is terribly sad that we men have always had a kind of high tower over our heads to follow the rules of male rudeness and shielded hearts. I know the feeling. Personally, in my teenage years sometimes I could feel the pain to be excruciating in me and others. In fact, the rules so many times prevent the expression of real frienship!

      But these, Jonathan and David represent the true manhood in the order of Jesus Christ, Who was Love in David to Jonathan, and Love in Jonathan to David. They were one. True manhood is the most liberating thing both for man and woman, the same way true womanhood is such a liberating thing for us both within the framework of the Love of Jesus Christ.

      I believe both, woman and men are unleashed in Jesus Christ!

      This “no homo” expression is not “new”, it is just the old version revisited with the status of new words.

      Thank you so much for sharing this with us all, John. Very, very, very much needed.

    • Sandy

      My Brother, may God teach us how to be free – men and women – in Him so that we can enjoy the blessing of loving relationships with each other. Brothers and sisters who we truely are in Christ…

    • Sharon

      John what a powerful message, my husband has had few friends that he can share His love for Christ with. He deeply loves those men whom he can and is encouraged with their being in one accord with the.Holy Spirit and the growth of maturing into a walk of holiness unto The Lord!

    • Hannah

      Wow! You knew Art? What a great man of God. Love his teachings…

    • brother kirk

      May the two be accompanied by The Lord Jesus with a Hundred, and may I be one of them !!

    • Cindy Pollard

      John, you are a true man of God! Thank you for sharing a man’s struggle in this age & this culture. Not many men communicate the heart issues. And you evaluate it all in the light of the Word of God & relationship with Jesus! Thank you!

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