Martha just recorded the Message of the Month for August, and it pretty much blew a hole in my mind. It’s called The Big Why and it contains huge insight on both God and humanity. I will certainly share what I’ve seen about the Father and His shocking (to me) priorities, but I’d like to start with what I’ve seen about humanity.
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Jeremiah 17:9 KJV
God can know it, and if I’m willing to hear what He says and look where He points, then I can begin to discern it, too. In The Big Why, Martha reveals that humanity has always focused on what was done, who did it and how. But God is all about the “why.” God goes after the why, because that’s the sweet spot. The answer to God’s “why” reveals the true motive of my heart.
Again, God already knows my “why,” so it must be important for me to know it too or He wouldn’t be asking. (It’s extremely important, but I won’t spoil the message for you by telling.) What surprised me, however, is how much of a battle it is to get down to the “why” when He asks. I’m a near-professional navel-gazer with an advanced degree in introspection, yet there are some things about myself that I really don’t want to look at too closely. What’s that about?
It’s simply much easier for me to have an honest heart-to-heart with God about what I did than about why I did it. I know exactly what I did, so there’s no work involved in confessing it. But why I did it? Well, I don’t always know that, so finding out isn’t a cakewalk. Also, the “why” is usually far more wicked than the “what,” so that can be a pretty uncomfortable conversation to have.
The inescapable truth is, when God starts pressing the “why” and digging deep into the motive of my heart, it feels like my whole life will come crashing down if I acknowledge it. And when I listened to Martha’s message, I realized that my life does crash down when my “why” is brought to the Light of His gaze. I am never the same after that kind of encounter, in the best. Possible. Way.
It’s pretty effective spiritual warfare really. The enemy simply taints the truth (that life as I know it will end) in order to accomplish his aim: make me feel separated from God. Every true repentance results in the end of life as I’ve known it! I used to wonder why the Lord had so many verses telling us to repent, to turn away from sin and turn back to Him. It seemed very repetitious to me. Now I wonder that He bothered to say anything else! Letting God take me to my “why” is one of the greatest intimacies I have with Him, and the only way to true reconciliation.
Rend your hearts and not your garments and return to the Lord, your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in loving-kindness; and He revokes His sentence of evil [when His conditions are met].
Joel 2:13 AMP