A few days ago, I spiraled out. I had 24 hours of complete misery and death. It was dreadful. Fortunately, the Spirit anointed Martha and she asked me a question that blew everything wide open. It was spiritual warfare and the door was my idolatry of work. Thus ended the spiral of doom and I was back before the throne of grace. Then I read Martha’s post yesterday and I had a thought: Does idolatry pervert or even obscure my God-given sense of purpose?
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:21 NKJV
I’ve always thought of idolatry as being about betrayal and infidelity, and it certainly is that. Idolatry is my heart’s eye turned toward something or someone other than God. Yet somehow it never occurred to me that my sense of purpose would be affected—until my recent spiral. I just crashed! I felt absolutely lifeless. I had NOTHING to offer – not a smile, not a chuckle, not a normal, human-sounding tone of voice. I was absolutely adrift in despair.
When the Holy Spirit in Martha diagnosed me, I just burst into tears. And I remember thinking how relieved I was that I actually could cry. It was a pretty bad spiral. But after reading Martha’s post, I realized that the worst thing I experienced was a complete lack of purpose. And really, that’s an agony that accompanies nearly all of the enemy’s attacks on me. Either I am a vessel unfit for God’s purpose, or I cannot recall or even seem to care about His purpose. The result is the same with either prong: muddy despair with plenty of self-loathing and/or apathy.
I have peace – and usually joy – when I am in God’s will for me. When I step out with HIS purpose in my heart, I feel close to Him. I move through my day in the harmony that only comes when I love the One who loves me. I have actual fellowship with Jesus because we are one in the purpose of the Father. Even the smallest, silliest events of the day matter when I’m moving in the greater purpose, the specific will of God. So of course this sense of purpose is attacked!
The Lord has made everything [to accommodate itself and contribute] to its own end and His own purpose—even the wicked [are fitted for their role] for the day of calamity and evil.
Proverbs 16:4 AMP
I love the Amplified version of this proverb! We are all connected in God’s purpose – believer and unbeliever alike. God is utterly sovereign and He is over us all. Martha said, “Purpose gives meaning to existence, and meaning is life.” I always forget just how much Satan hates LIFE. If he can lead us into the realm of the walking dead, devoid of meaning and purpose, hindering our fellowship with the Lord, he will do it. Idolatry is a very effective means for that very thing.
Little children, guard yourselves from idols.
1 John 5:21 HCSB