Struggling To Get Where I am


I don’t know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with this, but I want to bring it to you today. I want to know what is it in my psyche that attempts to convince me that I’m separated from God? Each morning I come to Him as if I have to get to Him. It’s like sleep became some sort of veil that I must fight to take off in order to start my day new with the Lord.  Now, I speak as a son, born from above, not as someone seeking. I’m saved. I evidence the new birth with a new life, so I am not speaking as an awakened soul with mere awareness of God. So how come I have to struggle to come in line with who I already am?

Struggling To Be

Struggling To Be
Oswald Chambers gave me an answer in his devotional, speaking on John 16:23 (My Utmost for His Highest – May 28th). In it, Oswald discusses the day when you ask no further questions because you and the Father are one. The fact is, I am with the Father, so I don’t need to continually struggle “to get to Him.” It’s an issue of faith.

There’s an assault on my faith to convince me that I am not where I am. The enemy’s game is to skew the reality of the truth. Each morning I should come as one “there,” not as one “arriving.” Positionally, I’m in Christ! So why is there a work to get where I already am? The work is to demolish every argument and every pretense that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. My work is because I have an enemy. My work is because my mind is so easily diverted. I work is because it’s worth the fight. However, the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.

When I sit down to be with God, I’m not going to the Father because I already am in Christ with the Father (Ephesians 2:6). When I still myself to commune with the Lord, I am shedding off the temporal to acknowledge the actual. What a crafty trick of the enemy—work to achieve what has already been given and try to get what I already possess. Boy, this messes with the mind and is a pillar erected to distract and divert.

No Need to Struggle

No Need to Struggle
The mental work to arrive is actually counterproductive and a departure from the truth. You can’t travel to where you already are, and to put forth the effort isn’t just a waste of time, it is sowing into my unbelief.

Any time I feel the schism, I can tear down the veils of illusion that stand like a façade. It’s like being on a movie set where there’s a façade of a 1920’s cityscape. It looks like I’m in the city during the 20’s, but in actuality, I am just on a production lot. I have the power and responsibility to cast down this unbelief.

My reality is that I am in Christ, seated with Him in the heavenlies. The enemy would want me to believe that I am simply alone and pleading to the Father for His love and attention. Pshaw!

I choose to believe rather than fortifying my walls of unbelief. I can’t travel to where I already am! This is mine by revelation and live it in reality. I am in Christ, and I have continual fellowship as ONE.

May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me.
John 17:21 HCSB

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Can’t get this out of my mind….what a comfort!

I can’t either. It is like a beneficial splinter…🥰 Love you Rebecca!

Kimberly Sutherland

Thank you for this beautiful message. The Lord used it powerfully to touch my soul and remind me, yet once again, exactly who I am in Jesus Christ! The devil lies and he is a defeated foe! God bless

So pleased it did Kimberly! God bless you and thank you for commenting this. Love it!


Can’t travel to where I already am!- gonna remember that!… I struggle too and I remind myself to ‘practice the Presence ‘ good devo to begin my day. Thx.

Practice the Presence has helped me a lot too! Bless you and I hope you are loving your new place. Love ya!


The voice of a lie can get as loud as the silence of THE TRUTH sometimes especially when I am tired! I have to sing His name out loud just to reconnect to the person I am already connected to…Jesus! I like those words…”I can’t travel to where I already am.” Perhaps too the undoing of man is that we so badly want the evidence of being perfect and in Him…dotting all of the I’s crossing the T’s in our own self effort…we lick the envelope twice to make sure it is sealed…press down hard on the stamp…mail the letter… Read more »

Kimberly Sutherland

Love how you said that!!! Praise the Lord!!! God bless you

I am kinesthetic learner too. So I get it totally.

I love this: “The voice of a lie can get as loud as the silence of THE TRUTH.”
Thank you so much for sharing and for your heart to love Him.
Blessing you!


You have said it the way it is, John!
Had no more hope left in myself, perhaps…just maybe…I wouldn’t be sitting over here going…


The hope in self dies so terribly slowly huh?! Thank you for commenting Sandy and love you bunches!


That reminds me of a verse that I try to pray most mornings: Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you, I lift up my soul. I used to say that out loud to my babies as I was picking them up, when they would awaken and cry in the morning. I wonder if we are somewhat like babies before they learn object permanence. Our Father is right there with us, ready to scoop us up in love, but because we… Read more »

It’s the struggle we all face, the battle we all must conquer. That is a beautiful scripture. Thank you for sharing it Celia! And thank you for YOU!


That is a very good observation re: object permanence. We are no longer orphans.



Thank you Christina! Glad it spoke to you.

Don Hartness

It’s funny (and not in a humorous way), but I fight with the same issue at the end of the day instead of the beginning. I feel closest when I awake, and furthest before sleep. The timing may be different but the reasons are the same. Thanks John. I’m going to reread this tonight before I go to bed.

Guess it doesn’t matter when this lie pops up its ugly head up, it needs to be squashed, huh?! If it does show it’s face tonight lop it off! Thanks for the encouragement, reading the post, and commenting.


“I should come as one “there”, not as one “ariving” Oh Father forgive me for my unbelief. I will do this work of casting out the facade of not belonging and being loved.
Bless you John and thank you for running this movie that I also participate in too often.
Thank you Jesus that you are seated by the right hand of God praying that I would be one with you and our ABBA

It is unbelief isn’t it Sue?! Such a lie of Satan. He is the one who no longer belongs and attempts to convince us who do that we are in the same position. As a born again believer in the will of God, I have I don’t need to get. Hallelujah Bless you Sue.


Wow! I needed to hear this!

So pleased it spoke to you! Love you Alex!


This makes me think of a parallel universe theory.


What an encouragement to read your words today John! I loved this line:”the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.” Selah! Your readers are also such a blessing and what a comfort to know that we’re not alone in our spiritual struggles. It was such a comfort to read everyone’s comments and to know that it’s just not John and me who have to ward off these feelings in the morning! That’s what I love about the Shulamite community…people who walk close to the Lord but who are open about their struggles and bless the Body of… Read more »


“The work is to demolish every argument and every pretense that sets itself up against the knowledge of God…because I have an enemy…because my mind is so easily diverted…because it’s worth the fight. However, the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.”
Amen! And Amen!

New Light shed on His Truth of who(se) we already are.

Bless you John


Wow, my thoughts and struggle exactly this morning, “I am just not a morning person” blah, blah, blah. It seems that when I first wake up in that half-awake state I often am aware of the voice of the Spirit and commune with Him freely. Then I get out of bed and a fog sets in and connecting is very difficult. Sometimes I push through, other times, like this morning I open the blog or The Bible, listen to music to begin to draw me in my spirit and from there the Spirit takes me where He is. I heard… Read more »


As Rosemary said, “Wow”!…. that’s just where I WAS too, but no more!
Veil has been cast off!!!
Repenting for sowing into my unbelief!!!
I choose to believe and receive!!!
Thank you John. Thank you Lord.


Wow…thanks because I am right here this morning. Amazing, just believe the truth.