Struggling To Get Where I am


I don’t know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with this, but I bring it to you today. What is it in my psyche that attempts to convince me that I’m separated from God? Each morning I come to Him as if I have to get to Him. It’s like sleep became some sort of veil that I must fight to take off in order to start my day new with the Lord.  Now, I speak as a son, born from above, not as someone seeking. I’m saved. I evidence the new birth with a new life, so I am not speaking as an awakened soul with mere awareness of God. So how come I have to struggle to come in line with who I already am?

Oswald Chambers gave me an answer in his devotional, speaking on John 16:23 (My Utmost for His Highest – May 28th). In it, Oswald discusses the day when you ask no further questions because you and the Father are one. The fact is, I am with the Father, so I don’t need to continually struggle “to get to Him.” It’s an issue of faith.

There’s an assault on my faith to convince me that I am not where I am. The enemy’s game is to skew the reality of the truth. Each morning I should come as one “there,” not as one “arriving.” Positionally, I’m in Christ! So why is there a work to get where I already am? The work is to demolish every argument and every pretense that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. My work is because I have an enemy. My work is because my mind is so easily diverted. My work is because it’s worth the fight. However, the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.

When I sit down to be with God, I’m not going to the Father because I already am in Christ with the Father (Ephesians 2:6). When I still myself to commune with the Lord, I am shedding off the temporal to acknowledge the actual. What a crafty trick of the enemy—work to achieve what has already been given. Boy, this messes with the mind and is a pillar erected to distract.

The mental work to arrive is actually counterproductive and a departure from the truth. You can’t travel to where you already are, and to put forth the effort isn’t just a waste of time, it is sowing into my unbelief.

Any time I feel the schism, I can tear down the veils of illusion that stand like a façade. It’s like being on a stage where there’s a façade of a 1920’s cityscape. It looks like I’m in the city during the 20’s, but in actuality, I am just on a movie lot. I have the power and responsibility to cast down the unbelief.

My reality is that I am in Christ, seated with Him in the heavenlies. The enemy would want me to believe that I am simply alone and pleading to the Father for His love and attention. Pshaw!

I choose to believe rather than fortifying my wall of unbelief. I can’t travel to where I already am! I have this by revelation and live it in reality. I am in Christ, and I have continual fellowship as ONE.

May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me.
John 17:21 HCSB


Posted by LA
January 20, 2015 at 11:05 am

This makes me think of a parallel universe theory.

Posted by Paul
January 19, 2015 at 9:24 pm

What an encouragement to read your words today John! I loved this line:”the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.” Selah!

Your readers are also such a blessing and what a comfort to know that we’re not alone in our spiritual struggles. It was such a comfort to read everyone’s comments and to know that it’s just not John and me who have to ward off these feelings in the morning! That’s what I love about the Shulamite community…people who walk close to the Lord but who are open about their struggles and bless the Body of Christ by their transparency, beginning with Martha, John and Jennifer.

Thank you for the blessing of allowing me to share in such a wonderful community of believers! I’ve never met any of you in person but I’m so grateful for the bond that connects us!

Posted by Tammy
January 19, 2015 at 7:57 am

“The work is to demolish every argument and every pretense that sets itself up against the knowledge of God…because I have an enemy…because my mind is so easily diverted…because it’s worth the fight. However, the fight is not entering the reality, but silencing the unreality.”
Amen! And Amen!

New Light shed on His Truth of who(se) we already are.

Bless you John

Posted by Tina
January 19, 2015 at 7:54 am

Wow, my thoughts and struggle exactly this morning, “I am just not a morning person” blah, blah, blah. It seems that when I first wake up in that half-awake state I often am aware of the voice of the Spirit and commune with Him freely. Then I get out of bed and a fog sets in and connecting is very difficult. Sometimes I push through, other times, like this morning I open the blog or The Bible, listen to music to begin to draw me in my spirit and from there the Spirit takes me where He is.
I heard a teacher say that every morning he asks the Holy Spirit, “Where are you today? And waits and the Spirit comes and begins the conversation”. I have found this helpful because of its simplicity. Learning to access the intimate place and not the mind is my greatest battle! The more I see Him and taste Him consistently and remember my absolute need…

Posted by Jim
January 19, 2015 at 7:11 am

As Rosemary said, “Wow”!…. that’s just where I WAS too, but no more!
Veil has been cast off!!!
Repenting for sowing into my unbelief!!!
I choose to believe and receive!!!
Thank you John. Thank you Lord.

    Posted by Sam
    January 19, 2015 at 10:41 am

    Hi Jim. So nice to have you here!

    Tina expressed our battle so well: “Learning to access the intimate place and not the mind is my greatest battle!”

    Well, that also happens to me because I try to overcome my mind with my mind! That’s impossible. I cannot defeat my flesh with my flesh.

    Victory is operated altogether through a different path. It is a path of Love and our will coming to bow interacting with that Love. At the bottom of it, surrender is interacting with Him. Behind a surrendered person you find friction with Him, because it is a matter of will.

    He did not create us robots.

    Love to you today!

Posted by Rosemary
January 19, 2015 at 6:20 am

Wow…thanks because I am right here this morning. Amazing, just believe the truth.

Posted by Sam
January 19, 2015 at 5:42 am

Oh, John, thank you for this unravelling post.

I think Faith (His Faith, as Martha is telling in her “Let” devotional) calls us to “move”. That’s what you are saying. We “move” from this realm to His Realm.
We “move” from this reality to His Reality. There is constant movement. We “move”. We are “on the move”. But not a “move” to achieve a position, but to DISCOVER it! As you well say… you can’t travel where you already are.

It is a movement of discovery, a weird resting move, so to speak.

Your post is so simple and beatiful!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *