In my last post I wrote about a trip I took to literally thank my great aunt Maizie for seeing me. What I think Maizie did was minister God’s value of me to me. Oddly, we didn’t have to spend much time together for this to happen. In fact, I can count on one hand the times I spent or spoke with her. But God used her by seeing me in my life and that somehow communicated to me that God saw me. I wasn’t aware of it at the time; it was like opening a belated birthday present.
You know, just the smallest drop of Christ’s Life is enough to send ripples across the whole landscape. And where those waves go is out of our purview. When I spoke with Maizie, she was unaware of her impact. And I think it’s exactly how it was supposed to be. Jesus was at the center and His heart was transferred both in the sending and receiving.
Cast Your Bread by Seeing Me
Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days.
The Life of Christ in us is like casting our bread upon the waters. We freely give Him away and then the Gift is gone. Jesus fosters for Himself the impact of His Life. Often it’s quite apart from me. Now that I am on this side of my life, I see others just like Maizie saw me. I believe that God sees others through me. I am so keenly aware of others, possibly to a fault, because God designed me to see. By nature, I am very aware. But my natural proclivity to seeing doesn’t bring Life. It is only when HE sees through me that it becomes Life. Out of deficit comes fullness.
Before I was saved, and perhaps even shortly thereafter, my motivation to see was self-saving. I saw in order to keep myself safe. It didn’t work well, but that didn’t deter me. God gifted me with keen awareness, but I used it for self. My motivation had to die. Once He had my life, He then took control of my seeing.
A Shepherd Seeing Me
One of the ways the Lord trained me with His sight was through being a shepherd. To be a shepherd of sheep and goats you have to be aware. I was a city boy, I didn’t know the first thing about them. What I quickly learned was that you have to see them as if you are seeing yourself. You are these animals’ sole support. They can’t care for themselves, even in the smallest ways. So I became their awareness of self. I saw their health, afflictions, maladies, and I was their care. Can you imagine one of the sheep standing up and saying, “You know, I am feeling a little wormy today. Do you mind giving me a little of that herbal formula over there?” Nope, I was their inspector. I knew when they were wormy and what to do to rectify it.
This has been a hard lesson. I can’t keep myself any more than those sheep could, nor could I be a shepherd to those animals. Just because I can shove food in my face doesn’t mean I can care for myself. And I can’t see another while my eyes are so firmly affixed on myself. God has trained my eyes to follow His view. And oddly, this became the way He trained my eyes to be a human’s shepherd, too. I can’t see anything He doesn’t show me, but when He is looking through me, I see with such clarity. Before I was saved I saw out of fear, but now that I am His, I see out of His fullness.