I am to be my own best friend.
Are you your own best friend?
I can say that I have so struggled with this.
Best Friend Test
Here is a test: sit in a room by yourself in utter silence. Are you compelled to turn on the TV, listen to an iPod, make a phone call, check your email, read a magazine, play a video game, write a book, start cleaning . . . just something to buffer the stillness? Now maybe this just means you’re an active person, but if we dig below the surface, does it state something deeper?
Okay, here is another test: can someone’s disapproval or disdain of you throw you off your game? Does it send you into a spiral of self-doubt or self-incrimination? Does their response tempt you to lose yourself either through dismantling your confidence or through enticing you to drop your dignity and retaliate?
So how does my adversary, “the silence,” or an antagonist to my soul, relate to me being my own best friend? Only in this: it tests the bond and strength of that friendship. Adversity only proves what is actually there. It reveals the weakness or strength of the bond.
Being My Own Best Friend
Out of the gate, being my own best friend sounds a little creepy and schizophrenic, but the meaning of this to me is an ease and ability to be comfortable in my own skin. It’s an enjoyment in God’s created ME. Living in the joy of my uniquely wonderful personhood. As a human, my default is discontentment. I’m always looking to upgrade or remodel. But that just makes me rigid and dissatisfied.
I strongly believe that God has given ME to myself for a purpose. The Divine Creator has not tricked me in an eternal joke. I am not a struggling puppet with a sadistic minstrel to entertain God. No! I have been given a gift in ME. You have been given the gift of YOU. We go to bed and rise every day of our life with this GIFT. Every step I make is with my self. So if I have been so intrinsically tied to my own being, am I not supposed to enjoy, celebrate and be at peace with my self? The answer is YES.
There is a huge issue of sovereignty here. I am the choice God has made for my life. ME! Not any other person, ME! So if the presence of silence or persecution topples my core, maybe it is more a reflection of my own aversion to His choice rather than the circumstance itself.
If you attacked my best friend Martha, would I immediately start to question and equivocate on my relationship with her? Would I start questioning her validity, her merit, or her value? No! So why do I immediately go there with myself?
Being at Peace with Me as Best Friend
Again, I believe I am to so make peace with my self, and celebrate the ME God has given to me, in order to be at ease in my world. I have been called to observe and witness His life lived in me, but if I resist the ME part of that equation, then I also resist His life. It would be like being given a set of binoculars to view a scenic overlook and then doing nothing but complaining about the crappy binoculars and missing the view altogether.
I am not campaigning for the indulgence of self-love. And what I am promoting goes so far beyond simple endurance and tolerance. It’s enjoying and rejoicing in God’s choice of ME. If it was His good pleasure to make me, then it is my obligation to receive that gift. And more, to enter into the great adventure of discovering all the “why’s” behind His creation of ME.