I am to be my own best friend.
Are you your own best friend?
I can say that I have so struggled with this.
Best Friend Test
Here is a test: sit in a room by yourself in utter silence. Are you compelled to turn on the TV, listen to an iPod, make a phone call, check your email, read a magazine, play a video game, write a book, start cleaning . . . just something to buffer the stillness? Now maybe this just means you’re an active person, but if we dig below the surface, does it state something deeper?
Okay, here is another test: can someone’s disapproval or disdain of you throw you off your game? Does it send you into a spiral of self-doubt or self-incrimination? Does their response tempt you to lose yourself either through dismantling your confidence or through enticing you to drop your dignity and retaliate?
So how does my adversary, “the silence,” or an antagonist to my soul, relate to me being my own best friend? Only in this: it tests the bond and strength of that friendship. Adversity only proves what is actually there. It reveals the weakness or strength of the bond.
Being My Own Best Friend
Out of the gate, being my own best friend sounds a little creepy and schizophrenic, but the meaning of this to me is an ease and ability to be comfortable in my own skin. It’s an enjoyment in God’s created ME. Living in the joy of my uniquely wonderful personhood. As a human, my default is discontentment. I’m always looking to upgrade or remodel. But that just makes me rigid and dissatisfied.
I strongly believe that God has given ME to myself for a purpose. The Divine Creator has not tricked me in an eternal joke. I am not a struggling puppet with a sadistic minstrel to entertain God. No! I have been given a gift in ME. You have been given the gift of YOU. We go to bed and rise every day of our life with this GIFT. Every step I make is with my self. So if I have been so intrinsically tied to my own being, am I not supposed to enjoy, celebrate and be at peace with my self? The answer is YES.
There is a huge issue of sovereignty here. I am the choice God has made for my life. ME! Not any other person, ME! So if the presence of silence or persecution topples my core, maybe it is more a reflection of my own aversion to His choice rather than the circumstance itself.
If you attacked my best friend Martha, would I immediately start to question and equivocate on my relationship with her? Would I start questioning her validity, her merit, or her value? No! So why do I immediately go there with myself?
Being at Peace with Me as Best Friend
Again, I believe I am to so make peace with my self, and celebrate the ME God has given to me, in order to be at ease in my world. I have been called to observe and witness His life lived in me, but if I resist the ME part of that equation, then I also resist His life. It would be like being given a set of binoculars to view a scenic overlook and then doing nothing but complaining about the crappy binoculars and missing the view altogether.
I am not campaigning for the indulgence of self-love. And what I am promoting goes so far beyond simple endurance and tolerance. It’s enjoying and rejoicing in God’s choice of ME. If it was His good pleasure to make me, then it is my obligation to receive that gift. And more, to enter into the great adventure of discovering all the “why’s” behind His creation of ME.
Awesomeness!’ Just beautiful as we give God the glory for who we are in Him…uniquely purposefully to thrive His!!! Thank you for sharing your heart!!
I want to say thank you your article has helped me a lot of ways. Like learning self-love. Susan Taylor
Thank you, John. For me, realizing the “gift of me” is just the beginning of accepting God’s life for me. Realizing “I” am the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you, Lord, for giving me ,,,,,,ME!!
Wow! I love the thought of seeing Jesus love and live in me and with me as if over a scenic overlook! Sometimes I get so caught up in confirming my own choice to be His, that I miss He CHOSE also. imagine if I treated myself like a dear friend! Encouraging, building up, forgiving, consoling, delighting in, and fellowshipping with me! Perhaps it’s the little words that matter–IN Him, WITH me.
It’s not uncanny at all how insync your post is to what I have been facing and pondering but didn’t realize how simple this truth was. Truly needed to hear this as it brings a deeper rest and surrender to my soul.
This is so s good!! I want to save it and read it every week for the rest of my time here on earth!, The statement “…God has given ME to myself for a purpose”. I love that! I learned a few years back that it’s a gift to be human! That was a jumping off point for me in learning to accept myself, embrace the ‘me’ that I am. Today I am reminded to enjoy the friend I have in ME! Thanks John!
[…] next day, John sent me a copy of his post (“Man’s Best Friend”), and I really fell apart. When I am at my worst and have […]
“I am the choice God has made for my life.” Do you realize, John, how profound that simple statement is?! Wish I would have heard that about 40 years ago! But He knows I wouldn’t have received it . . . His timing is perfect. About a year ago now, God gave me one word: gratitude, that began to change how I looked at Him and myself and others. It’s amazing how this attitude has led to real joy. (Kind of going along with Jennifer’s current topic.) Sure I have days where I’m weary or frustrated with circumstances (really, the… Read more »
Awhile back, you wrote an article about Cain and self-hatred that made a profound impression on me. I printed it out and have referred to it quite often over the past months. I think what you are presenting in this post continues along those lines. Another convicting post John, thank you for your faithfulness in sharing your “lessons”.
It’s a new way to look at and consider an old problem. I bring it before the Lord! I am getting a glimpse of how the enemy doesn’t want us to like what we see in the mirror. Another mode of attack!! I am asking the Holy Spirit to open our eyes to see what God sees! May He show each one of us what He sees when He looks at us. Thank you LORD and thank you John.
John , thanks for sharing . The journey of of receiving the gift of being your own best friend and being comfortable in your own skin , as you put it , is a tough journey , the battlefield is littered with casualties who have been , for many reasons both sacred and secular , unable to embrace this gift , but i believe Jesus died to introduce to our true selves . The real story of our lives predates the fall , the cross must be set in the context of Gods love dream , for us to truly… Read more »