I Once Was Blind

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Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters,
As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress,
So our eyes look to the Lord our God,
Until He has mercy on us.
Psalm 123:2

I’ve been very blind to ME. And when I say “blind,” I’m not talking about ignorance or lack of understanding. I mean that I didn’t SEE me. What I didn’t understand was just how important seeing me is—and what it means.

Let’s backtrack for a minute. I have learned that unless God shows me, I cannot see who someone truly is. So seeing an individual person as God sees them is paramount. And I have! I have experienced the miracle of seeing what God sees; when I glimpsed His vision of a loved one, the whole world shifted because I saw the miracle He intends for her. And when I saw that, I knew that the present reality mattered very little, because His dream was promised and coming. That experience, that vision has never left me. It hasn’t even faded in my memory! That’s the power of seeing through God’s eyes.

I’ve also been taught that when God shows me something or someone, He is giving me a responsibility there. Sometimes I am meant to pray, sometimes to confront, and sometimes I am meant to stand in faith for the promise He allowed me to glimpse. So it’s not like God shows me something for the sole purpose of my personal knowledge. (I learned that one the hard way, too. God was not amused when I took what He’d shown me and used it to trash the person.) When we are privileged to see with God’s eyes, responsibility is part of it.

Now, when it came to seeing myself, I just plain said no to receiving God’s view of me. The pride of self-hatred was ascendant, and I believed that I was seeing “the truth” about myself. I didn’t want to see some sort of rose-colored, dreamy view of me; I wanted “the truth” and the more painful, the better. What I didn’t know is that I wasn’t seeing the truth at all! When I operate outside of the Spirit, I am blind. I see only what the enemy wants me to see. Jesus is “the way, the truth and the life,” so apart from Him, I don’t see the truth at all. I cannot!

The above Psalm exhorts that “our eyes look to the Lord our God until He has mercy on us.” “Our eyes!” Seeing MATTERS. How you see yourself matters enormously. I was crippled by pride, blinded willfully. And I know how much it matters because I’ve now seen ME as God sees me. And when I was blinded to me, I was blinded to Him. If you refuse God’s view of YOU, then you can’t see HIM.

Check back Wednesday for Part 2: But Now I See

Comments:

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  • Posted by Irene
    December 10, 2013 at 8:32 am

    I am still contemplating this post, 24 hours later. I cannot get the seemingly contradictory words, “the pride of self-hatred”, out of my thoughts. I know there is rich treasure there for me that I am asking the Holy Spirit to reveal. I am grateful for you Jennifer.

    Reply
    Posted by jack
    December 9, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    Maybe a little peek. Just what Christ and I could do with together.

    Reply
    Posted by Sam
    December 9, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    I so agree with your words. His View is a “View With Purpose.” There, within His View, we have it all. There is no lack.

    Reply
    Posted by LA
    December 9, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    ‘I didn’t want to see some sort of rose-colored, dreamy view of me; I wanted “the truth” and the more painful, the better….oooh, Jennifer, you have once again put into words the truth about much of our Christian experience.

    So much of ‘self-improvement’ and ‘prosperity gospel’ becomes ‘let’s just fix you’ to reach some man-made ideal instead of knowing Him, relying on what He says. We are free in Him–thank you, Jennifer!

    Reply
    Posted by Tina
    December 9, 2013 at 11:26 am

    I am completely undone and full of thankfulness b/c He has (in the last couple day/weeks) opened my eyes to see me and to see so much. I am both terrified at the power of my blindness and thankful for His faithfulness. Yet I am more at peace and more hopeful than ever before b/c He has shown me His path. Thank you for your honest sharing and grace.

    Reply
    Posted by Susan
    December 9, 2013 at 10:40 am

    So true Jennifer.. blessed reading the insights that Father is teaching you.

    Reply

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