I’ve written on this blog about several aspects of my childhood. One of the dynamics was that I had very little self-worth. I was the brunt of a lot of bullying and I felt completely inadequate. I know this is odd for an only child, but I often had a sense of being less than zero. I felt like I was more of a mistake than a success. So how could I believe that God does not make junk? I felt like junk.
I am Okay God Does Not Make Junk!
When I was young, I went to a bible camp and I took two things with me when I left: a catchy song and a divine message. The song has never left me. Even at 51, I can sing about the frog that was a queer bird like I was still there… (thanks a lot, camp counselors!). I guess it’s one of those lovely parting gifts which feels more like an earworm in my brain. The more important takeaway was the divine message about my worth. I don’t remember how I came across it, but as I rummaged through an arts and crafts table, I found a note. It wasn’t like everyone had the same message; it turned out I was the only one with it. I used the words to make a mobile, artistic one that I am. This divine message read, “I’m okay, God does not make junk!”
I wanted to believe it, but this message was completely counter to my childhood belief system. Have you ever sat on the side of some railroad or subway track and watched all the cars marred by graffiti pass by? This is similar to how I felt – not shiny or new but sullied by walking through the world. I believed that I was irrevocably blemished.
Yep, God Does Not Make Junk!
I was thinking about those colorfully graffitied subway trains and asked God: “Is this what I look like as Your container? Are You sporting a gangster ride when You live in me? Am I that marred container?” The answer is wonderful. Yes, I was one of those marred trains. But when Christ came to live in me, He made all things new. I may not have appeared externally new, but I was on the inside. The chinks and marring of my outer container are nothing to the beauty of the internal Life.
No, my external body may not be perfect to you or me, but it is to Him. He designed and shaped me from my mother’s womb, knowing all that I would go through and choose. He was not put off by my foolishness. As I wrote in my recent post on the Clampetts, Jesus chose to come and abide with me and dwell in me. He would be luminous in my life.
The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is sound, your entire body will be full of light.
Matthew 6:22 AMP
That’s Right, God Does Not Make Junk!
As His container, a living tabernacle for Christ’s Life, I am to glow. Yet faith is a determining factor in this. First, I have to have eyes for only Him, and if so, I must have the faith that He does light my countenance with His luminance. The Bible says I am to be a body wholly illuminated. Is this on special occasions, like a Christmas tree? No, this can and should be my living reality. Now, I can prevent His Light from shining forth from me by fixating on self (looking at that old graffitied subway car.) But our actual, intended reality is that Christ’s Life is the glory which makes our countenance shine like a glowworm.
“If then your entire body is illuminated, having no part dark, it will be wholly bright [with light], as when a lamp with its bright rays gives you light.”
Luke 11:36 AMP
Why am I telling you this today? Because as I recently posted, I am a literal tabernacle of the presence of God. I carry His very presence in my life to my world. And with this being true, He has proven that I’m okay, God does not make junk! Jesus did this by being willing to live inside my frame. Imagine, He wasn’t just satisfied to love me from a distance, but He purposed to love me so much that He was willing to come live in me. There is no way I am junk!