Beach Blanket Bingo

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As I stated in my last post, I am going to share a part of my testimony that is very private. I only do this because I feel like this story is “His-story.” I don’t own it; it’s His authoring of His Life in my life.

Beach Blanket Bingo

Beach Blanket Bingo Just Me
Upon getting to St. Simons Island, I began to plan a date night with God. I figured if He was asking me to be single for Him, then it was His to fill in the gap. So I set up a night that was just for us.  I went to a remote beach and sat in plain view of a wonderful lighthouse.  My heart was palpitating and I was a bit nervous, like beach blanket bingo.  I’d sought God’s tangible touch all my life and now I was going to feel it.

Now let me say here that I had experienced the manifest presence of God before that night.  I’d audibly heard Him several times, even as an unsaved youth. I had experienced Him with my senses in episodes like the Light appearing in the van. But I hadn’t had Him touch me. I’m a very sentient being.  I hear things keenly, I smell things acutely, I taste things intensely—my senses are WIDE awake. In Florida, where I was raised, as a child I spent hours in the pool because I loved the way water felt. I’ve always been this way; it’s just how He made me.

I’ve always wanted to be touched, yet God Himself set things up in my life so that physical contact would be minimal. I didn’t have brothers to wrestle with, or even many friends with whom to pal around. But just because my reality was set a certain way, it didn’t lessen any of my desires.  I wanted what I wasn’t given.  So when God asked me to lay down a further stake of my hopes being satisfied, it was a death, but what came with it was a grand hope of fulfillment.

Beach Blanket Bingo: Waiting for God

Beach Blanket Bingo
Well, back on the beach, there I sat waiting for the Spirit of the Living God.  Yet after hours of waiting without so much as a breeze, I picked up my stuff and wept my way to the car.  I was crushed.  He didn’t come as I’d desired.  Eyes filled with tears, I sat in the car for quite a while just asking Him what it was He wanted from me.  Why would He not bow to ME?!?! Okay, that isn’t what I said, but it certainly was what I was saying.

The next day I wondered what that was all about as I made the journey back home.  One thing I did know, I was the Lord’s. But was He mine?  I know many people who seek the Lord to be their romance. I think it’s naked humanity to desire Him as our ultimate fulfillment.  But I believe we can take this to the stratosphere of self-worship—where I want God to worship me and bow to me as center. Since the Garden, we have wanted to control Him to do our will, so we will be pleased. He just isn’t interested in playing in that arena.

In my next post, I will share a turning point in my thoughts, which is changing everything.

Comments:

Posted by VIRGINIA
May 14, 2014 at 1:39 pm

MY DELICIOUS BROTHER. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR HEART WITH US, I AM BLESSED. I TOO CAN SMELL WHAT OTHERS DO NOT, HEAR WHAT OTHERS DO NOT,FEEL VERY INTENSLY, INFACT MANY COMPLAIN I AM A PAIN. I PRAISE GOD FOR HIS PRECENSE IN OUR LIVES FOR HE IS ALL THOSE THINGS, WE WERE PERFECTLY CREATED IN HIS IMAGE. WOW!!!!!!!!!REJOICING IN THE KNOWLDGE OF HIS LOVE FOR US. LOVE YOU DEAREST ONE. BLESSINGS IN JESUS NAME.

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Posted by cindy
April 7, 2014 at 5:02 pm

“For better or worse til death us do part” AMEN !!!

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Posted by Tammy
April 1, 2014 at 6:34 am

“Obedience is a dance with the Lover God.” Martha Kilpatrick (Manna 4/15/03)
To see what only He can do manifest in your life John…is breath-taking.
Praising Him for His will and work in you.

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Posted by Wanda
March 31, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Thank you, John for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. You’ll never know how much it helps some of us to accept our own story as His

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Posted by Irene
March 31, 2014 at 8:55 am

“Since the Garden, we have wanted to control Him to do our will, so we will be pleased.” That is an amazing truth John revealed by The Spirit. Thank you dear brother for your unmasked honesty in telling of His Life in you.

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Posted by Andrea
March 31, 2014 at 7:29 am

so very precious you are, John ….

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Posted by Sandy
March 31, 2014 at 7:24 am

Thank you for sharing your story with us.

…and you make one so very curious!!

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