Open my eyes, that I may behold Wonderful things from Your law.
Psalm 119:18 NASB
“Where are You, God?” The past week has unleashed a cacophony of sound and fury signifying nothing but hate to me. Headlines and videos and breaking news of terror and death and war—I was sinking under the deluge. It reached a breaking point yesterday and the Spirit gave me a wake up call: “If evil is all you look at, you’ll drown in it.” I needed my eyes opened to behold Jesus and the wonderful things from His law.
By the time the news broke with the ISIS attacks in Paris, I was already drowning and that just pushed me over the edge. I found myself asking, “Where are You, God?” Over and over, I’d ask, “Where are You?” But I wasn’t really asking where God was; I was asking Him where I could go to find peace and quiet.
When things get particularly loud and bloody, I look for a haven. I don’t think that I’m alone in that either. This time, I buried my head in Pioneer Girl, the long-awaited autobiography of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Wasn’t the world quieter then? Safer? Wasn’t God easier to find? To hear? The answer that I was given was a resounding “NO” on all fronts.
Where are You, God, in all this evil?
Evil is evil is evil. It may take different forms, but there’s never been a haven on this earth since the fall. As I read the life story of a wholesome pioneer girl who was born over 100 years ago, I read about murder, attempted rape, child molestation, infirmity born of disease, abject poverty and hardship, injustice, corporate greed, theft, out-of-control children, babies born out of wedlock, death and disaster and wickedness of the first order. Not a haven to be found! “Where are You, God?!”
Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
Luke 12:32 KJV
God isn’t hiding from me; I just can’t see Him because I’m too fixated on the horror playing out in front of me. But the moment that I lift my eyes to seek His face, there He is. There’s my Haven, the only one I’ll ever know. I soak in His Presence, I breathe in His Name, and the darkness falls away from my eyes. And now when I ask, “Where are You, God?,” the answer is there:
Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.
John 8:58 KJV
My eyes are opened again, and the deluge recedes. I belong to I AM.
Like Adam & Eve in the garden, the tempter came to seduce, deceive and alienate them from their God. The enemy comes in like a flood to take our eyes off the source of Life and God’s great and precious promises. 2 Cor 11:3
Thanks for sharing Jennifer.
Wow. Thank you sister, for your honesty again with your feelings and stumblings, and thank you commenters too! The display of violence of these sour waters (that them, the muslim world) brings just one thing to my heart: repentance and recognition of what we are. Strangely enough, this time there was only a really deep peace in my heart regarding these attacks. Deep, deep peace. Not mine, of course. But I think our responsability is to mantain our position of peace in battle. Nothing else on my part: “Lord, you are an Awesome God, and YOU are my God”. Love,… Read more »
Bless you Jennifer for speaking your heart…my heart…our hearts
This is so fitting for me right now. I’ve been dealing with a death of my aunt and uncle due to a home invasion and it’s horrible. I get collected and then new details come out and the event is rehearsed again.
I need to lift my eyes to seek His face and there is the haven of peace. I love how you said that. Going now to spend time worshiping.
I see Him best and remember too when He was there in retrospect. I remember when He revealed that I must break cacophony into its parts: caco-phony. He is/was there and it only phony.
Yes Jennifer. If we take a look at history without blinders on I believe we see the days we live in only as a continuation of our fallen condition. I have friends and family that think my heart is either a place of fantasy or denial because I am not shocked and don’t converse about “what are we to do?” My to-do is usually not dramatic enough for those who ask. Sharing that no matter what we see/hear/experience HE WINS! in the end…so we need only to look to Him and seek His heart through it all affords me many… Read more »
‘A continuation of our fallen condition’…agreed!