When A Man Loves A Woman

Dustin Hoffman:
“There are too many interesting woman I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed. And that was never a comedy for me.”

I watched an interview the other day with Dustin Hoffman on his experience with the movie Tootsie. In it I connected with what he said. Now I don’t know Dustin, or who he is as a person, but I have life experience that resonated with his words, and I’d like to share it with you.

When I first started to receive healing of my past, I had to go through a work of forgiving women. I’ve had a line of Jezebel-type women gnawing at my soul for many years. It even seemed at one point that God Himself tied me to them. I am sure this was to force me to rise up rather than lying back as an Ahab.

I left these experiences with many judgments against and anger towards women. Especially strong, overbearing ones. I loved women and enjoyed them, but I didn’t have a view that God wanted me to have.

So after forgiveness and healing of the wounds inflicted on me, I came to treasure and cherish women. My view was transformed, to such great appreciation for the difference and uniqueness of a woman. I was awed by her way of thinking and how she responded to situations. Women became fascinating to me.

When A Man Loves A Woman

I remember one day I was in a drive thru lane at a Hardee’s. I placed my order and was proceeding to the pick-up window. When I arrived, I was shocked at my response to the attendant. She was a somewhat unattractive looking, mildly overweight, middle-aged woman. This was a woman you would never notice in a crowd. She was just any woman. For me, there was nothing distinguishing about her other than she was a woman and that God was moving on my heart about her. As I waited for my food, I just experienced waves of love for her. She was utterly fascinating and completely captivating to me. I know she felt it, I could see it in her face. It wasn’t sexual in nature; it was just complete cherishing. I celebrated that she was in my world, the world where God made her.

It’s been years, and I don’t remember now exactly how she responded, I just know she did. She lingered and asked me more questions about my order than was needed.  Beyond that, I can’t recall the response. After I got my food, I pulled away leaving her to her life.  What this revealed was my heart transactions with God.  He had effected change in me.

So in Dustin’s interview, he states that he missed many exquisite women because they didn’t fit a stereotype of attractiveness.  Because they weren’t “Barbie,” they weren’t worthy of attention or time. It is a tragedy that we could miss something so special just because it doesn’t fit into our mold of what’s desirable.

I hate that our world is this way, but maybe there is another view of this worldly fact. Maybe God, the Creator, jealously desires the beauty some women possess to be His own to enjoy. Maybe He wants to only expose their beauty with those He chooses to share it. Now I am not excusing the attitude of our world as “just God’s plan,” but I am saying He is sovereign. I’m also saying that often what He finds desirable is not what I think is. And maybe He is jealously withholding from soulish spectators, something He favors.

We humans are so limited in our choice of flavors and so dogmatic that our choice be THE ONLY choice. God’s palate is so much greater than ours.  But I think He does expand the taste buds of His children as they follow in His steps.

See the Interview with Dustin Hoffman.