By Mike (Guest writer)
(This is a follow-up to Mike’s last writing on surrender, “What Exactly is Surrender,” posted on February 5, 2014.)
Proverbs 3:5-6
NKJV
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
I figured surrendering would be a relatively easy thing to do. After all, you just have to relinquish your rights and that’s it, right? As I started to hit some initial roadblocks, the Lord started speaking to me about trust. He was bringing me to these roadblocks to expose areas in my life where I was not surrendered because ultimately, I did not trust Him. The road of surrender cannot be traveled unless there is absolute trust. At the core, it is about a trust exchange. I must exchange trust in self, for trust in Him.
Before surrender comes trust, but before trust comes the absolute knowing that God is altogether good. Any part of me that remains in doubt about the goodness of God is a part of my life that I am still seeking to control. Doubting the goodness of God is the very lie planted by the enemy. If I let any seed of doubt remain, it will reap destruction. If I choose to control a situation instead of surrendering it to God, I will simply bring about exactly what I was trying to prevent. Truly, I’ll work tirelessly to prevent a situation and then agonize as I see it unfold exactly as I dreaded. Surrender to the Lord is the only safe place; it’s the only way to ensure the eternal safety of what I truly desire.
My journey to surrender has taken some devastating detours. As a self-professed family man, one of the most intense detours I have encountered is when the Lord asked me to surrender the parenting of my teenage daughter. The Lord showed me that I was a major contributing factor in creating the behavior that I truly despised. Now that was hard to swallow. He showed me that my parenting philosophy was inherently flawed because I have believed the lie of the enemy that I know how to parent her. Because of that, I was praying about my daughter’s behavior but not my behavior.
The Lord has literally flipped my parenting philosophy on its head by asking me to surrender my authority over her. I have but one chance to raise this child, and my time with her is growing shorter each moment. The Lord is asking me to surrender my most cherished one, and my most significant responsibility, to trust that He knows how to bring up this child. I’ve had to accept that I am simply the vessel of His parenting. The Spirit is telling me to simply be what I want her to become and surrender my parenting to Him.
The detours have taken me to the depths of my heart where the lie of the enemy is rooted. I’m wrecked as I see how tightly I’m holding to my life and the lives of those I love. I feel the fear of the Lord as I walk through the process of surrendering, believing that my God is a good God, and relinquishing all I WANT to happen in my life and my relationships. I have decided that I want God more than I want what I want.
I will choose to surrender all to You, God, and let You direct my paths.
“Before surrender comes trust, but before trust comes the absolute knowing that God is altogether good.” How can we even question that God is not altogether good? But we do. Why do we trust in His promises, trust His messengers but not trust Him? And surrender for the sake of surrender — because it’s what we’re supposed to do — is useless (this comes from personal experience) unless, as you state in your last sentence: it’s UNTO HIM. Thank you, Mike, for your encouraging words.
It fascinates me how God teaches each of us His truth. I am grateful Mike He is showing you such Truth in raising your daughter. Relinquishing the child you only have one opportunity to raise is such surrender. How she will benefit and how you and perhaps the rest of the family will benefit I am sure will be a blessing. Thank you for sharing. The Spirit is soaking to me thru your sharing….is PRIDE ever destroyed? I did not realize how big it is in my life. I have asked forgiveness if my PRIDE over and over only to… Read more »
I have decided I want God more than I want what I want. Well said, Mike.
This past spring my 17 year son began to pull away from God. He become involved in many things that teenagers struggle with today. While my husband and I followed all the steps we knew to help him, ultimately we knew that he was responsible to God for his actions. Meanwhile, I have been so heartbroken that I was not the parent I should have been. I have certainly loved my son with all my heart, tried to live a godly life before him, taught him about the Lord, read the Bible to him, prayed with and for him, yet… Read more »
The Spirit is telling me to simply be what I want her to become and surrender my parenting to Him.
such powerful and insightful words ….
thank you
Mike I am so encouraged as I see the Lord doing this deep work in so many…
I have had the same dealings regarding my parenting and as a wife. Choosing moment by moment to surrender what I think I see, what I fear, and choosing to trust that God is directing each path and doing what I cannot see. Choosing by faith to love overcomes all evil within us all!
“He showed me that my parenting philosophy was inherently flawed because I have believed the lie of the enemy that I know how to parent her. Because of that, I was praying about my daughter’s behavior but not my behavior.”
Oh, this is just such a depicting of repentance. Repentance is relinquishing our petty truths and knowledge AND “goodness” exchanging those powers for His Kingdom and the knowledge of Him!
Thank you so much Mike, the brilliance of your expression is astonishing:
“The road of surrender cannot be traveled unless there is absolute trust. At the core, it is about a trust exchange. I must exchange trust in self, for trust in Him.”
Love!