If I didn’t have it, I didn’t need it and just because I wanted it doesn’t justify my right to demand it or be bitter for not getting it. My wants don’t always equal His will, but His will should dictate my wants. I think most people think that their wants and desires equal God’s will and plans.
“I want it, so shouldn’t I have it?” The answer often is different than we would like. Not now, not that way or just plain no is not what we like to hear. At least, I don’t enjoy a NO. Does this sound familiar? “But God, it would be so much better like this, don’t You see?” I had many discussions like this with God shortly after I was saved. And you know, I won some of those fights. They turned out to be perfect training for me to see that His ways – and not mine – are truly perfect.
For instance, years ago I needed to move out of a place where I was living to be closer to work and church. I started to ask God where I was going. This should have been my first clue! Where I was going should have been where are we, God and I, going. Anyway, I had a friend from church and I DECIDED to move in with him. He needed a roommate, the place was in the area where I needed to be, and the rent was great. I gave a token, “Hey, is this OK, God?” God’s response was, “It won’t be mutually beneficial.” So I asked a man who was discipling both my friend and me. He said, “Of course you should – it’s just logical.” Second lesson, my wants and the voice of man don’t necessarily equal God’s amen.
Well, I moved in with the friend and it became a very difficult time in my life. What a surprise, huh? The relationship with my friend went south and turned into co-dependence. I began to get very sick physically, and my heart weighed heavy most of the time.
Three months passed, and one day God said, “You ready to move?” I said no, I can’t let down my friend, this situation is logically correct, and now I’m enmeshed in drama. Wow, I didn’t say I was the brightest apple in the bunch!
At the 6-month point, I was taking a morning walk and God said, “You ready now?” This was all too clear. He was saying, “You going to do it My way?” I said, “Yes, God, I am sorry! Let’s move.” Notice the I became a we! Within the week, every detail was provided, amply supplied for my friend and for me. No penalties, no hassles, just easy. God’s grace and mercy abounds!
This lesson should have solved all my head-butting with God, right? But no, I am pretty committed to, as Sinatra says, My Way. What I can say is that over the course of my life with God, I am learning that His ways are always best.
I have gleaned this: I will have to abide and content myself with His will. It is best for me and is the place of my highest fulfillment. I don’t know better than God, and it is better not to try to sit in His chair.