By Gaby (Guest Blogger)
I delighted in John’s writing’s on prayer and felt nudged to share a bit on my own prayer adventure.
In a comment to “Speaking God’s Word in His Ear,” Pauline mentions the values of the Mercy House of Prayer in Vienna. Well, I stumbled into that prayer house in December 2011, and in the three weeks I shared with Vicki Harris before she left, I came to know exactly this: listening prayer. I mean truly LISTENING, at the very moment! No prayer-list to bring with you. This was new to me and it was fascinating – Holy even!
For almost 30 years, I had completely ignored that there was a Will greater than mine whom I was called to respect. I had “thrown prayers at Him,” as Martha puts it somewhere, like you would throw balls at a target button, hoping to hit it and make a gift fall out.
So now I had to listen. Evidently I needed Him! What happens when you need Him? You get to know Him. By knowing Him more closely, you start to love Him… So after a short period, instead of intercession I began to break into worship, slowly beginning to understand that it was all about Him—not me, not us, and not even about our needs. He knows it all anyway, so I could simply thank Him in advance…
My musicians left to play for other prayer meetings, bigger groups or other things, so I found myself often with very few people or completely alone. This was the time when I learned about silence. I sat before Him, staring at Him.
Psalm 32:8 (“I will counsel you with My eyes upon you.”) reads in Martin Luther’s German: “I will lead you by My eyes!” How could you be led by His eyes if you weren’t looking into His face?
A French brotherhood, which I cherish, expresses it beautifully:
“The road to contemplation is not one of achieving inner silence at all costs by following some technique that creates a kind of emptiness within. If, instead, with a childlike trust we let Christ pray silently within us, then one day we shall discover that the depths of our being are inhabited by a Presence.”
And nowadays? I don’t really know! Is it worship, intercession, listening, talking, looking? Is it none of them? Or all?
Maybe this: I come with my trust and I hold this trust before Him as a sort of sacrifice, and I ask Him to take it and use it and do with it as He pleases. And that’s what He truly does. More, He fulfills this surrendered trust in ways I could never have dreamt.
Silence has a way of quieting my heart, stripping off all my agendas, and God changes me in the wait. I come empty. He gives me His fulness. I come to realize the interior life…. very different than outter life. I hear Him. I see Him.
Needy. If we come to Him as a needy child — whether looking, listening, etc., we always come away satisfied; that’s just what Father(s) do.
I don’t know you, Gaby, but your post gives evidence that you are a child — content to be and let Him be. Bless you!
Psa 107:9 For He satisfies the longing soul and fills the hungry soul with good.
Thank you, Pauline, for your blessing.
You are right, and moreover, if we come as a child He would give from His ALL,
so that it is even enough to bless and satisfy OTHERS
Gaby, thank you so much for sharing your own adventure in silent prayer. It led me to tears, and a knowing that I will experience this same thing in the days to come.
This is so, so sweet, because He is so, so sweet.
This is so beautiful
“Psalm 32:8 (“I will counsel you with My eyes upon you.”) reads in Martin Luther’s German: “I will lead you by My eyes!” How could you be led by His eyes if you weren’t looking into His face?” What a beautiful gem Gaby, thank you for sharing.