Let’s Talk About Parents

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This is one of the hardest scriptures I’ve ever been given – and the truest.

Proverbs 30:11-13 Amplified
There is a class of people who curse their fathers
and do not bless their mothers.
There is a class of people who are pure in their own eyes,
and yet are not washed from their own filth.
There is a class of people—oh, how lofty are their eyes
and their raised eyelids!

Ah, bitterness with parents.  It fed the absolute worst darkness of my soul – arrogance, entitlement, ingratitude, condemnation, and superiority.  It was the biggest stumbling block to even glimpsing God as He truly is – and not as I believed Him to be.  And there’s no way around this stumbling block; you can only go through it.

Over the next few days, I’m going to talk about parents. Yes, blog about my dealings with my parents.  I spoke to my mom and dad and asked their permission to write about this part of my journey.  They’ve given their blessings, and that means the world to me.  I have been brought to such a wonderful place of easy love and joy over my mom and dad.  I have a clean and precious relationship with them, free of the painful baggage that three decades will produce even under the best of circumstances.

Basically, we’ve worked to forgive each other, and God has honored and blessed that work beyond anything I ever imagined.

As a result, I have great passion for the issue of dealing with parents.  It is absolutely foundational and inescapable and pivotal.  The parent-child relationship is THE prime relationship in life, and it affects EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in our lives.  So I’ll be talking about my personal work to blast through this stumbling block, as well as any teachings or counsel that impacted me along the way.

You know, in the heady bliss of freedom and forgiveness and love in the first weeks of being saved, I told God (and Martha) that He could use my story however and whenever He wanted – all of it.  It was just one of those spontaneous, joyful declarations that come all too easily when you first fall in love.  I really didn’t think that one through, and this blog has been a steady testing ground of my naïve yet heartfelt declaration.  I feel a little like every post should open with “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!”

These next several posts on this subject are the result of my “yes” to the Spirit’s nudging, and I trust that He will reveal what He wants – no more, no less.

1 Corinthians 13:12 HCSB
For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,
but then face to face.
Now I know in part,
but then I will know fully,
as I am fully known.

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[…] would like to piggyback off of Jennifer’s series on parents and my recent post on “My Way.”  This is just another example of my wants and desires yielding […]

Wanda

Jen, you’ll never know how timely this is. I so appreciate your open, vulnerable blogs. So much of the time, I find myself in the same places. Keep going, Girl, you have many on your side. Love you

Linda

I too wait with expectation and anticipation as I believe the Lord will help ME label some of my issues through your sharing. He keeps ‘killing’ the self in me to where I know I am nothing. However, there is still a mother issue at hand that I simply seem not to ‘hear’ what it is. I prayerfully await what He says through you Jen. Thank you for sharing so opening and honestly. It is in the ‘sharing’ that He speaks to me so many times and I am grateful.

Sam

I sit at your feet with expectation, Jen.

Tina

When we expose our sin and vulnerable self it is only the voice of our own condemnation and shame that believes other’s will see us and experience us the same way as we feel about ourselves. What I see in this is very helpful. Because on this end and from the voices of others I see that we experience connection, joy, and love at the strength of vulnerability and the Mighty work of love from our Father in you and in us all.

Sharon

Oh Jennifer I had a very volatile relationship with my father and my mother they were very violent with each other and with us children As I matured in the Lord the seven years have been a blessing to me. For I have learned that God chose my parents for me he chose my mother’s womb and my father’s seed and formed me and fashioned me, one of a kind me. I remember when I would write on the piece of paper “How do I honor my parents how do I love them how do I give them the Father’s… Read more »

Andrea

bless you so much Jennifer … you are very fortunate to have been able to work this through while your parents are still living … I suspect you will find, as I have, that this too is a life long process but the journey is so fruit-filled, and the freedom gained is so very tasty … thank you so much for your willingness to share and thus feed the sheep all around you …