Idolatry: My Hindrance to Forgiveness

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As I’ve continued through the process of fully forgiving and letting go in a particular situation, the Lord has shed His light on so many other issues as well. It began with “Yes, Lord, I choose to forgive this person,” but there has been a process since. Many times the battle was intense as anger and rage and even hatred would bombard me. I would cry out and cry out to surrender and forgive, bringing brief moments of peace, but then the onslaught would return. And once again my focus would be invaded with thoughts of this person’s unjust cruelty and their many offences. But why wouldn’t I ­– couldn’t I – just let go? What was hindering me?

The Idolatry of Divided Loyalty

The Idolatry of Divided Loyalty
It’s so easy to take up the burden or cause for someone I care about, especially when it comes to someone I love (like a child or spouse, family member or very close friend). In my earnest struggle to forgive, it seemed that I just could not let go no matter how I would bow and surrender. The constant focus on the offence and torment would return, and I would have to bow again. But the Lord answered my desperate cry, and showed me the hindrance to my forgiveness.

Psalm 79:5 AMP
How long, O Lord? Will You be angry forever? Shall Your jealousy [which cannot endure a divided allegiance] burn like fire?

Oh, He is so jealous! He is a consuming Fire. And it was a fire I was in, because my heart had a divided allegiance. My problem and hindrance was idolatry. When He revealed it to me, I saw it so clearly. I had taken up a cause for someone I love and stood on their side instead of the Lord’s side. I became entangled in the mess and with this person. They became more important than my love for God, for His will and His purpose alone.

2 Timothy 2:4 AMP
No soldier when in service gets entangled in the enterprises of [civilian] life; his aim is to satisfy and please the one who enlisted him.

Idolatry is setting my heart on and thus worshipping something, someone, anything above God, and that is what I had done. I was standing on their side, the wrong side…and so I was against Him. I could not forgive, in fact I was paralyzed because my heart was divided. I had set the person I love and their wants and needs above my love for the Lord. I was pierced as I saw my disloyalty and betrayal of Him – and of His love for me.

Out Goes Idolatry, In Comes Peace

Matthew 22:37 NKJV
Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Out Goes Idolatry, In Comes Peace
Later, as I repented and renounced my idolatry, asking for God’s forgiveness and cleansing, I realized that I’d been set free. The torment of unforgiveness that had plagued me was gone. I was no longer caught in the prison of my idolatry. He had delivered me once “I set my love on Him alone” (Ps. 91:14). The anger and rage were gone, and I had His peace. The wall of idolatry between us was destroyed.

There is always a choice of whose I will be, of who I will love and whose love I will love. Every offence, every situation calls for that choice to be made. I belong to Jesus. I choose His will and His purpose as I take up my cross and follow only Him.

Comments:

Posted by Pauline
October 5, 2015 at 7:30 pm

What a beautiful testimony, Carole, of Father’s immense love and mercy and grace! He caused you to make a courageous decision and answered your heart’s cry.

Sometimes it’s difficult for me to confess the ‘whole truth’ as Jennifer spoke about in another post; still fighting the perception that Father hasn’t forgotten some things is angry with me (which doesn’t exactly foster intimacy).

But to see how Father responded to your complete repentance, bringing you into His peace and sounds like joy, too, gives me hope and encourages me to be OK with coming to Him, no matter what the sin or trial, while still having a ‘good’ kind of fear for this consuming Fire.

I thank God for you, Carole, and for all at Shulamite for such a love for Jesus that, by the Spirit’s leading, anything can be exposed without regard for reputation.

Big blessings!

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Posted by Deborah
October 5, 2015 at 12:17 pm

Hi Carole,
I am a follower of these posts and love to chew on them and apply them to my own life. I am having a bit of difficulty fully understanding the message here. I can understand the issue of idolatry when I take the side of someone else’s pain rather than simply forgiving the person who offended THEM. What I am trying to fully grasp is how the issue of idolatry applies to us personally when it is US personally that is finding ourselves reliving the offense against us personally despite the number of times we choose to forgive. How do we deal with ourselves and what is it we need to do? You may email me to the address attached to this post. Blessings.

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Posted by Toni Hebel
October 5, 2015 at 8:18 am

Carole,

Thank you for sharing. You don’t know me, but I have read your posts and listened to you on podcast. I am in leadership with Martha Wilson and Touching Hearts–connected with Martha Kilpatrick. My husband and I have written a book entitled, Forgiving Forward. We travel the world teaching people how to forgive and how to help others forgive. God has opened huge doors for us. Tomorrow we head to Africa. I would like to send you a copy. Please contact me by email and give me your address. forgivingforward.com. Blessings.

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Posted by Sam
October 5, 2015 at 7:44 am

Ah…. so beatiful and practical issue. Thank you Carole.

Love abounding to you today,
Sam

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Posted by Sue
October 5, 2015 at 7:27 am

OH Carole, “Idolatry, Standing on the Wrong Side, Unforgiveness, divided heart, prison,” GUILTY
THANK YOU, BLESS YOU for sharing this awesome post that gives me HOPE, DIRECTION WISDOM FROM ABOVE to go to my CHOICE to “WHOSE LOVE I WILL LOVE.

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