In my last post, I said that every area of my life had spiraled down into a great big wreck, and I want to follow up on that. First, I must make clear that the size of my mess mostly reminds me of the size of my blessings. Were I not so lavishly provided for, my mess would be comparatively small. Alas that I am loved so enormously! The second point that I want to make as clearly as possible is this: I gave God permission to move through my life like a divine wrecking ball.
I Gave God Permission to Wreck Me
That sounds strange even to my ears so I’ll elaborate. I have never wanted the life of a water bug. Even before I was born again, I wasn’t content to skim around on the surface of things. I wanted more. I wanted to go deeper. I wanted the truth about life and people and history. And when I was born again, I wanted more of God. I wasn’t content to simply read about Him or be told about Him, though there was value and purpose in both. I wanted to KNOW God for myself. And when I set my heart on knowing Him for myself in all truth and reality, I gave God permission to do what was necessary to make that happen.
Now, I had NO IDEA that what has happened in my life would happen. But then, I don’t know the depths of my own heart as He does.
For now [in this time of imperfection] we see in a mirror dimly [a blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma], but then [when the time of perfection comes we will see reality] face to face. Now I know in part [just in fragments], but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known [by God].
1 Corinthians 13:12 AMP
I am fully known by God, and so are you. He knows every obstacle to receiving His love that we’ve erected in our hearts over the years. He knows every barrier to believing in Him that cripples our minds. And He knows every curse that we’ve taken into us – body, soul, and spirit – that muddies our path and weakens our walk. Our Father knows exactly what to do to make us holy, to make us wholly HIS. He knows the order, the timing, and the intensity of the work that must be done. A work that only He can do!
I Gave God Permission to Pull Out the Big Guns
Martha says that we will have as much of God as we want. And if that’s so – and I’ve seen with my own eyes that it is – then there can be no doubt that I gave God permission to move on my life in a big way. I wanted more than a surface-level relationship with Him. I wanted to know what it’s like to be loved completely and to return that love without holding anything back. I asked for the miracle of God HIMSELF; I just didn’t know what the answer to the prayer of my heart would look like.
In short, I gave God permission to do whatever He had to when I told Him that the surface wasn’t good enough for me. So regardless of how it looks, my life is a testament to God’s faithfulness to me. My mess is a personal love letter from the Creator of the Universe to the speck of dust He breathed life into, and that makes it glorious.
Dear Jennifer, Oh how He loves to be known by us! His desire to be known by us, is greater than our desire to know Him. He came and He laid down His life for that very purpose, that we may know Him ” this is eternal Life, to know Him”. Yes, to know Him for Himself, for Who He really is. And the measure that we come to know Him, is the measure that we will come to know ourselves. [ I always pray] that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may grant you… Read more »
Like saying to Him ‘have your own way Lord’. Many feel uncomfortable with the deep, but there can be no compromise for the disciple.
He has sooo gifted you with expression Jennifer.
Reminds me of Oswald Chambers on 9/30. I won’t type it all out as its too long, but it came to mind while I was reading your blog. Love you so much Jennifer, and your beautiful transparency. Blessings
Eucharisteo … and Jesus gave thanks and He took the bread and blessed it…
Thank you for sharing it : ) I receive it too.
Great reminder and how appropriate for this post — the same when Jesus fed the five thousand: “He took it . . . He blessed it . . . He broke it . . . and He gave it.” It’s what He does with us, isn’t it? And when He’s done, He starts all over again. Thank you, “LT.”
Jennifer, thank you for sharing your love letter — Blessings!