Haranguing Self

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So in my last post, I showed how I am to own nothing. Ownership is God’s; stewardship is mine. I am only a simple steward of that which is in my possession.  My grasping ownership only prevents me from receiving from God what I need to live life. Gripping my possessions makes them susceptible to satanic attack and destruction.

So let’s take this to the next level: ME.  “Oh, this is the big one, Elizabeth” as Fred Sanford used to say.  I am not my own.  I am not my own possession.  I have been purchased by Another. Hence, I am only a steward of my life and body. He is supplying everything needed for me.  My ownership of myself prevents me from openhandedly receiving. I am owned, and not by me!

The only word that fits here is harangue.  Anytime I hear that word, I see a brilliantly orange orangutan flailing about with his crazy wispy hair, long arms and big mouth. And shamefully, I must say this is what I am towards John.  When I refuse God’s ownership, the only way I can be a Christian is by haranguing self into order.  This is anxiety!

I’ve whaled on myself to make myself be right.  I have internally thrashed about with hopes I could do it.  I have owned myself.  I left the stewardship responsibility and became a taskmaster.  And the reward of this is a body wracked with stress and anxiety.  Now, if I am the only one out there, I write this for me, but on the small chance that there happens to be another orangutan out there, here we go.

But the Lord replied to her by saying, Martha, Martha,
you are anxious and troubled about many things.

Luke 10:41 AMP

There is only one thing worth being concerned about.
Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:42 NLT

Christ Jesus from eternity past purchased John Enslow to be His own possession.  His possession! He put my life together, so I would choose Him. He wanted to own me.  When I owned myself, I made a huge mess and destroyed the fibers of His property. Then I struggled about to fix my mess, to make it right. All the supplements and concoctions, gyrations and mantras, rituals and regiments could not put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Why would I think I could fix the broken life in the same way I broke it? Because I believed in that old broken system found in the flesh, self, old nature, Adamic life.

As surely as I live, says the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people. I only want them to turn from their wicked ways so they can live. Turn! Turn from your wickedness, O people of Israel! Why should you die?
Ezekiel 33:11

Comments:

Posted by Tina
August 30, 2013 at 9:05 am

This word was very helpful in a situation I had to deal with last night. In the middle of my anxiety and resulting “control” the Lord reminded me of this word and how I had permission to just release it all. I was able to see a deeper level of fear and it works in my relationships.

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Posted by Irene
August 29, 2013 at 8:08 am

Harangue. There’s a word I have not heard in a long time. Since I am reading this blog on my iPad, I tap the word to get the pop-up definition: to lecture someone at length in an aggressive and critical manner. Bingo! Repentance, Holy Spirit, give me repentance, for I find I cannot even change my direction without You. John, thank you for sharing your true heart. I eagerly look forward to your posts and Jennifer’s too, because Jesus is teaching me so much through your writings. I am re-reading Martha’s booklet on repentance (for the 4th time). I continue to praise God for leading me to The Shulamite ministry via Gene Edwards because you remind me that Jesus Is All in All. Thank you.

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Posted by Sam
August 29, 2013 at 5:27 am

Thank you!! That’s so funny the orange orangutan. I get amazed at our huge faith in that old man.

(Martha has been now talking on this issue for a month now through “Manna in the Morning.”)

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