My expectations of anyone or anything only sets me up for failure, bitterness, and discouragement. I have learned this the hard way and what I have found on the opposite side of my expectations is the jealousy of God.
When we look to others rather than God for anything we are setting them up as an idol in our hearts. Oh I wish this wasn’t true. But alas, it is! I have walked this globe for over 50 years and I have expected people to do, to be, and to behave in certain ways. Each time I have found my foot in this snare, it has been my fault. I am caught in the trap and my reactions of indignation, anger, or bitterness are just wrong.
Expectations: But The Didn’t Do Me Right!
You could say, “But wait there a minute…they didn’t hold up their end of the deal or they didn’t do the “right” by me.” But when I look for anyone to do or behave in a certain way, I am sunk. All my expectations must be on the Son of God and His Life not on His creation and their activity. This is easier said than done but if you are looking to man with expectations there is heartache ahead.
Expectations are laws we set to control. When I expect from someone, I am determining what is needed to please ME. Do you see how treacherous this course could be? I am not giving room for the Spirit to move, surprise and bless. On the contrary I am stipulating MY WILL. Everyone loses in this, the persons I have expectations of, myself by robbing myself of God’s Life and Will, and the Holy Spirit who wants me to experiences His movement and involvement.
Openhearted and Openhanded
I must live openhearted and openhanded in this life. I have learned that the adventure of allowing Christ to direct my experience is so much more satisfying and fulfilling than my orchestration. He is my perfect Father and Shepherd and brings things and people into my life that are, more likely than not, beyond my wildest dreams. I don’t want to live limiting the unlimited just because I think I know better.
Again, living with an open heart and hands I am able to receive the fullness of the Father’s gifts and Life. Yet a closed heart and hands prevents me from receiving. It just makes sense, if you are closed you can’t receive. This takes huge thrust and faith, and the waiting usually rubs up against any and all of my wounds. But God’s Ways are perfect, and I am never left lacking. I just may not have it the way I have want.
God Orders My World
The Holy Spirit, in perfection, creates and orders my world. Expectations of others actually only sets up a NO to Him in my life. These expectations wall myself behind oughts and shoulds and separates my heart from receiving Him. As I stated at the beginning it is God’s jealousy I meet in this scenario. He is jealousy to be my God and to author my experience of Him, my world and life, and myself. This is a place of tremendous liberty and joy. My focus on Him rather than man inevitably brings me Life beyond even what I could devise. And in my experience some of the very things I would expect, come as a gift without the strings of my forcing things into my will.
Let’s live experiencing His authored story and receive His gifts of Life. We just might be surprised they are far beyond our limited sight conjuring and can be eternal for us and those around us.
These last two years have been very challenging with so many ups and downs. Trusting in God’s path for my life and my children and especially with my children. Often find myself in a place where all I can do is beg God for help and know that He is in control no matter how out of control and uncertain my life may feel.Trusting that God really loves me and will not turn me away or abandon those I love. Truly leaning upon my Father and knowing He’s got this! He is certain of my path even though my eyes… Read more »
This is so true!! Control is no substitute for Love in any relationship – not even using the “Love Languages”! And my disappointment in people just proves how much I expect them to be my source! (Which ends up as good medicine and proves only our GOD is Love!) Love is the only relationship!