Death of a loved one – or perhaps simply, powerfully death itself – is the greatest affront, insult, injury, offense to human control. It is a dagger to the soul of the illusion of control. It IS a crisis. It creates a crisis…of choice, of surrender, of control, of Who holds the reigns and who will take them. It is a tsunami of reality that crashes and devours and engulfs you in a wild tumble and war of survival . . . or surrender.
I’m thinking of a movie I saw on the airplane recently, The Impossible, a true story about one family’s experience of the tsunami in Southeast Asia in 2004. It somehow captured what it was like to be violently consumed by a tsunami, what happens to the body as it is twisted and battered by the power of the ocean as it gains momentum and speeds toward its new, sovereignly ordained boundary. The struggle for survival is intense and leaves you crippled, confused, weak and vulnerable.
Who really holds the power of life and death? Me? Could I have stopped it? Changed it? Maybe what I did or didn’t do caused it? If only I had . . . oh, the myriad of “what ifs!”
Of course I know that only God holds those keys. Or do I? Do I want to know that? That’s the crisis! It’s frightening. If God holds those keys, HE holds every key and it means I HAVE NO CONTROL. That is the REALITY. But will I choose to live in my illusion riddled with summoned demons, my own feigned fortress of protection and take control in that world of death anyway? Or will I “let go” and give myself to the unpredictable, unrelenting yet irresistible wave and let It carry me where It chooses, into the destiny of It’s Own purpose?
Song of Solomon 8:6-7a Amplified
Set me like a seal upon your heart, like a seal upon your arm;
for love is as strong as death, jealousy is as hard and cruel as Sheol
(the place of the dead). Its flashes are flashes of fire,
a most vehement flame (the very flame of the Lord)!
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it . . .
My Tsunami . . . His love, strong as death and Jealous for His place.
Oh, Father, Your love is a hounding Force beyond my control, pursuing, overwhelming, overpowering . . . frightening. It is a Mystery that I cannot grasp, and hold in my hands. Come, Holy Wave, and consume me into Your Love, so that there is no more me that resists You, only We, me in You and You in me.