A Custer’s Last Stand: Bitterness and Anxiety

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The anxiety I am speaking of in these posts is not the same as a normal response to fear. Our natural rush of adrenaline in the fight or flight response is not the same as letting anxiety rule us. No, we were made to be able to jump out of harm’s way and are given the boost with a surge of energy from our adrenal glands. This natural response is not the same as an anxious spirit.

Though the beginning may reside in the same events, there is a deliberate choice that makes all the difference.  Do you remember my post, Jesus Loves Me?  In it I told on myself and how as a child I refused to sing the words “They are weak, but He is strong.” This illustrates my point in this post.

Roots of Anxiety

Roots of Anxiety
Anxiety is rooted in a deep sense of bitterness.  It is a deliberate choice to, “Take care of myself, thank you!” Painful situations arise all the time. It all goes awry when we make bitter judgments against God for FAILING so miserably.

The fruit is poison, proving the source.  Anxiety is rooted in Satan, and accusation of God. And the more we use it as a tool, the more power it has to invade our lives. This choice is made so long that eventually you are trapped in the stronghold of anxiety.

I don’t want anyone to mistake my meaning, to think that I am saying being afraid is always the spirit of anxiety. My point is where we can take these responses. If I make my fear a Custer’s Last Stand moment against God, then yes, I’m setting myself up for the inevitable fall. It all rides on bitterness, and the Spirit will have to discern the heart of a man.

Bitterness Paired with Anxiety

Bitterness Paired with Anxiety
My state of anxiety has a LONG tail. It is not a few fearful moments; no, it is a lifetime of choosing to not be weak, to not allow Him to be the strong one. That was in me at an early age.  I was determined to be strong.  And when I was the only source of strength . . . no wonder I became fearful.  That is foolishness!  But the step that sinks us is the bitterness.

“God didn’t do me right. I’ve been done wrong.”

This judgment of God is the perfect soil for hysteria and anxiousness, which is characteristic of the stronghold of anxiety.

“I didn’t like it, disapproved of it and so decided to make it different.” 

Do it MY WAY!

The world God made for me wasn’t suitable to my liking, so I would change it.  In stepped the “Hero” of the flesh, anxiety.  I would demand the power to make it, as Sinatra sings, “My Way!”  And even if I couldn’t change it, I at least could escape or protect myself from it.

Blaming God, and the bitterness that followed, set me up perfectly for anxiety.  And it is very, very, very crafty. Anxiety masks itself as so many things, even apparently good things. It wasn’t like I was masterminding to take over the whole world, just mine.

Do not fret – it leads only to evil.
(Psalm 37:8)

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psalm 139:23-24)

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10 Comments on "A Custer’s Last Stand: Bitterness and Anxiety"

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John, these teachings,are so good. Do you have them in a book form?

Posted by John Enslow December 19, 2017 at 6:34 pm Really pleased you are enjoying it. Got a number more to go. Bless you Pauline, are you doing better? Still praying. John, I’m so sorry . . . hadn’t read this and so did not respond. Yes — Father is so good!! Thank you so much to all who prayed. I didn’t need to wait for a New Year — His mercies are new every day. Chains are gone, John! Father brought me back to “ONE THING” and seeing how dangerous it is not to keep short accounts. Blessed, but… Read more »

Best to ‘blame’ God for His love and mercy, faithfulness and forgiveness despite poor choices made; His goodness that leads to repentance.
Love

How patient God is with each of us, to plant in our heart that His ways really are GOOD – no matter what we may think at the moment (or looking back or assuming the future).

Having recently gone through a crisis event I have been battling paranoid thoughts…imagining and playing out “what if’s”. For example, I but my grandson in the car and walked across the road to check my mail and before I knew it I was playing out a fearful scenerio of being struck by a car and killed and no one would know the baby was in the car…how long would it be before they found him, what should I do to prevent that? etc.” The Spirit quickly brought this to my awareness and I released the fear by trusting God. These… Read more »
Tina, I am grateful that you shared that experience. I have had those same kinds of images flash in my mind over the past three years. It started right after I had my third child. Most of it is related to their safety. I have done basically the same thing you have done to combat it. I had a lot of accidents as a child and think this is a big reason for my struggle. The thoughts coming seem out of my control. I just shared on another post that I have been delivered so many times thru confession. I… Read more »
Bless you for this stripping of you. In spanish we don’t have that psalm translated as “anxious thoughts” (only “thoughts”), but I searched through several english translations. One of the best I found for other research I did (a version not very well known) is the Lexham English Bible (I go to it when the rest of translations do not grasp it), and it also renders it the same! I copy and paste here: “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. And see if there is in me the worship of false… Read more »

Wow Sam I like that translation. Thank you for sharing.