Lately I have been going through a deep personal cross in my life. It has been quite a death. And in this death I have felt like I am disconnected from the Lord and forsaken. I felt like His eyes aren’t on me, even though logically I knew they are.
On our crosses, logic is not usually the thing that speaks the loudest. Our feelings are aware of our deep pain in the situation. And as I considered this, I remembered that Christ too felt forsaken on His cross. He felt disconnected from the Father and cried: “My God, My God why hath Thou forsaken Me!” This phrase is found in both Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34.
Am I Forsaken?
When we are in a personal cross we are experiencing death. And I am wondering if it is supposed to feel like we are separated from the Lord. Is this the intent? It’s obviously the greatest pain Christ endured on His cross. Forsaken! The meaning of this is abandoned, deserted, and forgotten. For the one and only Man who after the fall walked in continual union with the Father to feel deserted, that is quite a thing.
This state is not uncommon, it is actually typical of our crosses. David felt the same in his personal cross.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?”
The death found in our personal crosses feels like actual death. It feels like separation and abandonment. And though the Bible says, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God!” We feel separated.
Looking for His Resurrection Life
In this moment I don’t have any deep revelation about this. I just have the comfort of knowing it is normal that the cross makes us feel like our Father has turn His back on us—forsaken us. To feel like our favor has waned and our heart’s are made sick. Oddly it is a comfort knowing even in our pain, we are not experiencing something unusual because Jesus Himself felt this. But in the end there is resurrection life and the glory of experiencing the Father.
So if you too are going through a personal cross. If you feel as if you are forsaken in this moment. Take heart the day of resurrection is on the way and you will once again feel the union with the Father.
I’ve learned that His anger lasts for a moment, but His loving favor lasts a lifetime! (The Septuagint reads “There is wrath in His anger but life in His will [promise].”)We may weep through the night, but at daybreak it will turn into shouts of ecstatic joy.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
2 Corinthians 4:17 NLT