Excruciating Spiritual Separation

Excruciating Spiritual Separation

During Easter we talk about the death, burial and resurrection of Christ. And I was thinking about the personal pain Jesus experienced. He sweated blood in the agony of decision, was flayed by whips of our scorn and hatred, and nailed to the cross to bear our sinful separation. Every step was physically excruciating, but was His physical pain the true pain of His crucifixion? Was Christ referring to His physical pain when He said, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39)? I don’t believe so!

Excruciating Crucifixion

Excruciating Crucifixion Spiritual Separation
Excruciating is the word we derive from crucifixion. It literally means, “a pain like the pain of crucifixion.” I might use the word in a dramatic gesture to describe a painful situation but obviously that would be misappropriating the full meaning. Excruciating is a pain on top of pain, beyond all that I have previously known as pain: agonizing, severe, acute, intense, violent, racking, searing, piercing, stabbing, raging; unbearable, unendurable – to be crucified. But was Christ’s aversion to crucifixion the resistance to His physical pain? Again, I don’t believe so.

God has asked me to go through many painful situations, some of them deeply so. I’ve even thought to myself, my high premium on the absence of pain doesn’t seem to be as important to God. Pain seems to be essential to living this life. Growth is painful, separation is painful, change is painful—to actually live life is to experience pain as well as pleasure. So if Christ expects me to embrace my personal pains when living my life, then He probably wasn’t trying to avoid His own when He prayed for the Father to take the “cup” from Him.

A Spiritual Separation

A Spiritual Separation
What did Jesus desire to avoid? One thing: spiritual separation from the Father! From eternity past, Christ, the Father and the Spirit were One. Jesus lived His life in the Will of the Father as One. They were ONE! The Godhead was intact and unified in everything done. And with this single act, Jesus would have to experience what He never had before: spiritual separation from the Godhead. Because of our sinful separation, He would have to enter that separation to eradicate it forever. And this was the most painful, excruciating thing He could possibly experience. The piercing of His body was nothing to the severing of His connection to the Trinity.

Recently I heard in a meeting the speaker say that for Christ to become sin for us He had to be separated from the Father. God would have to turn His face from Jesus. Wow, this was a Holy act! Thinking or living in independence of the Father is something I can sometimes do without a second glance, but Christ agonized over it. Again, it was excruciating for Him!

Our Spiritual Separation

Our Spiritual Separation
I think it is all-too-common to accept our spiritual separation from God as normal. We dwell with a distance between us as if there were none. But for Christ, this was a blood-sweating agony. A piercing beyond imagination. A tearing that was too much to bear.

I don’t believe I will ever look at the cross the same way. I always saw the pain as physically unbearable, but now it will be the searing pain of experiencing something most of us would call rather common—living life independent of God.

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    • Sam

      Yes, John. Thank you.

      And you know what it is behind “His hour”, what’s the dread and anguish behind He had to face in the background?

      What I see inside of me is the word loss.

      I agree physical pain was only a small part. Loss is what I see involved, because “being separated” and suffering the “wrath of God” and the “shame of crucifixion” talks about loss.

      That day many things were lost.

      As Gene Edwards would say in one of his works, I believe it is The Divine Romance (thoughts that also remained with me) that said “we now do know what came after crucifixion, we know the end… but He had to face the real loss of everything” (or something like that, I remember the idea).

      I kike your vision.. that we take “separation” for granted and losing that sweet union would wrench Him. I do believe He had to face this in Getsemani. The decision had to be taken BEFORE.

      Love to you today, John.

      • Sam

        Not “I kike…” but “I like..” Haha.

    • Dennis Huxley

      There is no way I can believe that God turned his face from Jesus at any time. He does not turn His face from us when we sin, and He did not turn His face from Jesus. I believe that Jesus, in his humanity, felt that he had been forsaken by God, just as we do when we hurt and He is silent. THAT is the pain Jesus HAD to experience, because al of us must experience it. Jesus was, I am sure, consciously invoking Psalm 22 (My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?) and knew the sum of that psalm, and so was acknowledging the fulfillment of that Psalm, which foretells the crucifixion and the e
      ffect it would have.

      • W.A.Belle

        I’ve never known any scholar to say that Jesus experienced a mere human response that believed God turned His face away. So I wanted to go to the scripture to study the word ‘forsaken,’ a word I have never searched by the Greek roots. (Matthew 27:46) Actually the Bible doesn’t imply or state that God “turned His face from Jesus.” It’s much worse: Jesus Himself declared the Father had forsaken Him.

        This is the meaning of the word used by Jesus:
        Strong’s G1456 to desert, to leave in the lurch, to leave behind in any place of state, forsake, abandon
        Lnw desert or forsake a person and thus leave that individual uncared for – to desert, to forsake.
        The Amplified Bible: Jesus cried with a loud voice, My God, My God, Why have You abandoned Me [leaving Me helpless, forsaking and failing Me in My need]?

        Jesus enjoyed such oneness with the Father that He knew when He was forsaken. I trust Christ’s reality and the word He Himself used.

        Didn’t Jesus experience that separation for all of us so that we will never have to know such agony?
        I agree with John’s revelation. The agony of God’s abandonment that Jesus experienced cannot be imagined. Nor do we really understand fully God’s actions nor the vileness of our sins.

    • sue

      OH John, I was so struck by your statement yesterday,”that we just accept our spiritual separation from God as normal,’ I couldn’t write about it. Then I was led to listen again to Martha’s message for February, “The Fruit of Our Wilderness” OH my what wisdom and gleaning from the LORD. She brought out that JESUS had a 40 day wilderness experience………and she has said so many times, God can’t have anything to do with sin. My wilderness experience lasted much longer than 40 days but I wasn’t willing to see “who I was without Christ”. If it were only my 60+ years of sin and iniquity that was laid upon Him, God would have to separate AND Jesus had to experience the separation to understand what we would be going through. Oh this is a glorious post and I won’t ever be able to look at the cross without seeing how my ‘independent spirit’ had to have death blow!!! Bless you

    • Broken heart

      I know exactly what it feels like and it’s the most agonising, extremist constant agony day and night because I was extremely intimate with God and walked in close union. I heard Jesus’ audible voice shouting to me. I smelt His divine fragrance. I walked with the Father. I talked with the Father. Holy Spirit and I were One. I in Him, Him in me. Then last year (2020) because of my extreme mental battle and spiritual warfare I was up against. My world fell apart. I had been doubting salvation and doubting He was still in me. My head got severely shot by a demon in the spirit and massive parts of my spirit head got taken out after lockdown and then when I doubted once more, all power drained out and then immediately after He left, a demonic drink got poured in to my spirit all night, destroying the full weight of my heavy, comfy spirit inside, leaving me completely weightless forever. I died inside, the Holy Spirit left. I became nothing. I lost the spring in my step and my smile. I did not realise He was those things in me. I was stripped of all my glory, everything that made me who I was. He doesn’t want me anymore. I’m an idiot for believing lies. He was offended by my constant doubts for months on end. It was final. I can’t love anymore. I can’t feel anything. I’m hard as a brick. I can’t repent. I lost the One I loved most. God Himself. I refuse to live without Him but I cannot end my life. I’m trapped and like a ticking time bomb, expecting a fiery fate of eternal separation from my Father. I hope I’m wrong. This is even worse than Jesus, who knew He was at least going to a better place after the agony. My agony has lasted for over 1 year now. I scream, shout, wail but cannot be heard by God. I’m in a pit. My head shot and crushed. All connection gone. Can’t get in God’s presence. All I have is regret. I know what hopelessness is. It’s not fair, I was in love with Jesus all my life. His chosen beloved passionate evangelist.

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