There’s a quiet little song by Kristin Chenoweth called “Abide in Me” that just so speaks to me. Even how I found the song makes me feel loved. Kristin is a tiny little woman with a powerhouse voice. She’s Broadway’s darling and Hollywood all over, but once upon a time, she recorded an album of worship music. I struggle with “Christian” music since most of it makes me want to stab out my eardrums. And God knows this, and knows that I sometimes despair over it. He also knows that I love Kristin Chenoweth from before I was His, and one day He led me to that old album of hers and gave me this song. Because He loves me, and love is everything.
Here’s the main refrain:
When you abide in Me,
Then I’ll abide in you;
Put My Words in your heart,
That when you seek My Face
And make Me your First Love,
Then all of the rest
Will be taken care of.
A little paraphrasing of John 15, clearly. But what struck me is the stark simplicity of His call to me: love ME first. Everything else falls into place based on that.
And though human love is a paltry thing compared to the love of God, I don’t discount it at all. That came first for me. When my eldest nephew was born, I was so dead inside. I had shut down my heart and disconnected from everyone around me, unable to bear how thoroughly I had destroyed myself. But God, when He made me, planted deep in my heart a love for children, and I hadn’t killed it off entirely. I saw my nephew and loved him. A paltry, weak, human love that God used to pull my eyes off of myself and onto someone else. That was the awakening of my heart and the turning of my life towards Him. Love is everything.
This little song is a balm to my spirit because it reminds me of what really matters in this life. I choose God first, above all and with everything I am. And when I do that, I find that I can get still and just breathe and feel His hands fold around me. I sink deep into that sense of belonging that comes when I see only Him. Love is everything, and God IS love.