The Lord put me back in Martha’s booklet, “The Power of Decision.” Here I’ve been struggling to put into words the nature of God’s latest dealing with me on the issue of my will, and all I had to do was look in this booklet. Ha! The issue at stake for the last few weeks is my autonomy.
“The Power of Decision” on autonomy:
You must gain your autonomy, your self-determination, so that you can yield your will fully to God.
Simply put, that means you must recover your NO, before you can exercise your YES. Independence is freedom from external control or influence, to choose the place of your dependence.
For most of us, all our lives others have been trying to make our decisions for us. Some of us have been completely run over. Others are hopeless and feel that their decisions make no difference and have no power.
Humanity knows how to dominate the choice of others. We are sure we know what decisions others should make. But we find it difficult to see and make our own choices.
The Shulamite maiden said:
They made me caretaker of the vineyards, but I have not taken care of my own vineyard.
S. of Songs 1:6b NASB
It’s not an exaggeration to say that it’s taken years and years for the Lord to unscramble this particular egg in me. And the change is quite real. To illustrate, I refer you to a post of mine where I told the story of the crazed fear that a seemingly unobtrusive, elderly woman invoked in my heart. Samuel commented and requested an ending to the story if possible, so here it is.
When I next spoke to this strangely delightful steamroller, I was utterly and completely free. My NO was so solid, so unquestionable, and so inexplicably joyful. That’s right, joyful! I was practically bubbling with a free and easy kindness that was entirely God. No striving, no painted-on smile, no dread, no hesitation – just a love-filled NO.
Though she was shocked by my no, she didn’t move into offense with me. She just seemed knocked off her rhythm somehow. And she was unable to recover her usual machine-gun patter. It was a startling conversation, maybe even revelation, for us both, I think.
Well, that’s really all I have today. I’m resting in what He’s done, and looking forward to everything He will do. It’s pretty quiet in the very heart of me, and I’m quite content with that. I love God because He first LOVED me—and everything else continues to fall into place around that primary choice.
And may the God of peace Himself sanctify you through and through [separate you from profane things, make you pure and wholly consecrated to God]; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved sound and complete [and found] blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah).
1 Thessalonians 5:23 AMP