As you might have heard on the first CD of the “Reign of the Kingdom” series, I had a dramatic encounter with God during my recovery from juicing off the end of my finger. Yeah, I accidently juiced off the end of my index finger on my left hand. It was a shocking event that has become very holy to me. As Martha can attest, I walked in a supernatural grace all the way through this situation. I drove myself to the hospital, I went through the two surgeries needed to rebuild my finger, and survived the weeks of pain and recovery with joy and peace inexplicable. So how can I call this incident holy? Because of what God revealed to me through it.
Funny thing about the whole encounter, I didn’t know all that the Lord had done until I was preparing for that message. Christ Himself entered into a place of deep fear in my heart to worship the Father in that dark space.
As I had developed bitterness with God during my childhood, mostly for not performing as I would have liked, I also became a deeply fearful person. I’m wondering now how linked fear and bitterness are? Well, I was afraid of death in everything. My life was marked with fear. And illness and injury particularly terrified me, because they all lead to death, right? I didn’t have God in this place of fear; I was just paralyzed in it. This area was a deep hole of darkness where Satan had the right to torment me. But God in His wonderful wisdom knew just how to address this. Christ entered my dark place of fear and explosively worshiped the Father in it. This has blown my mind! There was no worship of the Father in this area of my life and this incident with my finger gave Him entrance to fill it with His Light.
You see, it wasn’t comfort that I needed, it was the Light of His Worship. It completely involved me, but it wasn’t about me. The focus wasn’t my finger, it was worship of the Father. I would’ve directed God to get me out of pain and heal me quickly, but what transpired was the bursting forth of the Son’s worship of the Father in that dark place. Humanly this is so counterintuitive, but it has changed my perspective on my entire passion to be touched by God.
Next I’m going to tell you what I’ve been learning since then about intimacy with the Father.