Before I chose to make peace with God by making peace with my story, I had many questions about His role in my story. I asked Him why He set certain things up the way He had. I wondered why He allowed many of the hurts I sustained. Basically, I asked Him for the justification of my story. I asked God, “What is the purpose of my story, of my life?” I didn’t understand that in my story is the answer to these questions.
In My Story Is the Answer to My Pain
Once I chose to accept the life that God gave me, the Holy Spirit was free to show me things that I wasn’t willing – or able – to see. The first thing He did was jolt me out of my belief that my pain didn’t serve any real purpose. That’s simply not true. We accept pain as an invaluable tool in many areas of life, and I was reminded of that.
When a soldier enlists in the armed forces, he’s broken physically, mentally and emotionally. This is not done out of sadism. A soldier is broken in order to be rebuilt with the physicality and mental fortitude needed to undertake and complete the missions assigned to him. The pain endured in training is necessary for the soldier’s fitness in the field. There is purpose behind all of it.
I’d never looked at my life in that light before. When I began to view my life as preparation for God’s purpose, it began to have new meaning. The Spirit started to show me hidden treasure in the parts of my life that I would as soon have thrown away.
Why did God give me such a big mouth? In my story is the answer. Why didn’t God save me sooner from the clutches of certain people? In my story is the answer. Where was God when my heart broke for the first time? In my story is the answer.
In My Story Is the Answer to Who God Is
Listen to Me, house of Jacob, all the remnant of the house of Israel, who have been sustained from the womb, carried along since birth.
I will be the same until your old age, and I will bear you up when you turn gray. I have made you, and I will carry you; I will bear and save you.
Isaiah 46:3-4 HCSB
I meet God in my story, and I only have one story. I meet Him every day in the present. I meet Him in my hope for the future. And I meet Him in my past. To excise any part of my story is to lose meeting God there, and I don’t want to miss Him. The truest adventure I will ever have is discovering God in my life, the life that He gave me, both natural and divinely born again. To make peace with my story is to make peace with the One who allowed it to unfold as it did. I get to know Him as He is to me now, as He was to me then, and how He’ll be to me always.
In my story is the answer, and the answer is Jesus.