I have often found myself grieving that I don’t love God more than I do. I want for Him more love and devotion than I am able to give. And I feel this as if I am the only one in the world. But what He reminded me of today is that I am sailing in a boat common to us all. We each are sailing in a vessel called humanity. And in this human ship, we each struggle with what is common to us all.
Love God More: A Quest Since the Garden
Since the Garden, we all find it impossible to live this life. I’ve heard it described as “take a step and sin.” In the Old Testament, we needed the blood of sheep and goats to atone for our sins. A priest would mediate on our behalf. None were exempt from this sacrifice, not even the offering priests came guiltless.
Then Christ came to be our sacrifice—the Bridge to span the gap we dug on our own. Our impossible task to love God back was made possible with the Life of One who loves God exclusively. He became for us the Love we lacked, not in judgment or condemnation but as our only Solution.
So my earnest desire, which is His anyway, was presented through Christ for the Father. I am not expected to be the love He desires. I am only to receive the Life and Love He desires. I am a vessel only, built to contain this Life and Love. My manufacturing life or love is a farce. I have no ability to produce, only receive.
I Have Frail Love: I Want to Love God More
My love is paltry and insufficient to satisfy the King of Glory. Though I have a high opinion of my love, it’s pale and anemic. The best of my love is still for self. I am incapable of true selfless love, but then in steps Christ. He is the desire and the love He wants to express in me. Let’s be honest, if I didn’t have the Father’s desire for Himself in me, I would never even think about Him, much less love Him. Am I alone in this? I think not! Christ’s Love and Life are sufficient to satisfy the Heavenly Father through me. Again, I was never asked to be or produce the love. I was created to receive it and allow it to pour forth from me.
Invitation to Love God More
If I desire more love and devotion for the Father, I have one course of action—but to ASK. To increase my love and devotion, I must receive more of His Life and Love. I have the power of choice. I can choose to ask and receive. And the desire for more came from Him anyway so…
This takes the pressure off my expectations of self. Desire is my divine invitation to Christ’s own Life and Love. If I focus on myself to be the life and love, all I’ll be is frustrated. I was never intended to produce, only present. So today I’m going to accept my divine invitation and receive more of the Life and Love of Christ to pour onto the Father. My despair and desperation is His desire in me. Let it reign, Father, to satisfy Yourself in me.
I made Your name known to them and will make it known, so the love You have loved Me with may be in them and I may be in them.
John 17:26 HCSB
As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.
John 15:9-10 ESV