While in the current situation I have been discussing on this blog I had a further seeing that you may identify with. Recently I have said that our personal crosses can make us feel forsaken of the Lord, even though we are not. And also that a life of service can make us feel unlovely to the Lord. But in that the Lord is proving that He is in control and using even my prayers to maneuver me into His Will. So today I received the word pining. In it God implied that I have pined for a father and a father’s love all my life, yet now I will carry His own pining as a father to the fatherless. How much time?
God is Calling from Deficit
This word is scary because I am essentially being called to demonstrate something that I haven’t personally experienced. While I have been trained on many levels, I don’t know what it looks like experientially. What I have learned of our God is that our qualification for service might have nothing to do with our ability or life experience. Sometimes He calls us to something quite beyond the realms of our practical knowledge.
Why would He do this? Why would He tap into a well of life that doesn’t supply any previous experience? It is simply this, because He doesn’t need our supply just our yes.
When I shared this with Martha she said that just like in Don Potter’s song which says, “There’s a generation waiting for the love I didn’t get.” WOW! This is exactly it.
Essentially I may only receive the father’s love I’m longing for as the Father’s love is poured out through me. Will I know the Father’s love through His own fathering. Will I see it in these men I am loving? Can I father them with His Fathering and in so I will be fathered and satisfied?
It’s just like Martha mothering all of us even though she herself had no mother. Out of her deficit God supplied love as a mother. He tapped from her need to be her supply to pour out to others. All of this is mind blowing, especially because I am witnessing Him do it through my life.
Here is Don Potter’s song and the lyrics. I hope it blesses you greatly!
How Much Time ~ Fathers of Thunder ~ Don Potter
From a babies first cry to the memory of life
Who can say how much time?
From a young boys indifference to a penitent life
Who can say how much time?
Only One knows the beginning, only One knows the end
And a fortress of apathy I can not defend
From a middle aged ambition to a surrendered end
Who can say how much time?
I’ve been fighting for a freedom from all my past regrets
I’ve been crying over losses when I should just forget
So I’m learning to love for more than I get
There’s a generation waiting for the love I didn’t get
Turning my life around is like changing the wind
Who can say how much time?
Overcoming this pain is just rusting again
Who can say how much time?
Living for revenge is like hiding your breath
Finishing what you’ve started is the highest price yet
But if I failed to live my dream that’s real regret
Who can say how much time?
I’ve been fighting for a freedom from all my past regrets
I’ve been crying over losses when I should just forget
So I’m learning to love for more than I get
There’s a generation waiting for the love I didn’t get!
There are young ones coming home tired from the fight
Who can say how much time?
From the dream of being heroes to the souls dark night
Who can say how much time?
Many still believe they would die for the Lord
But do they understand just what they’re living for
Will the fathers rise up never been needed more
Who can say how much time?
No more fighting for a freedom from all my past regrets
No more crying over losses when I should just forget
I’m learning to love for more than I get
There’s a generation waiting for the love I didn’t get!
You know there’s never been a freedom completely free yet
You’ve brought some puzzle pieces together for me. Our daughter was here for a few days & we were talking about a setting God has orchestrated, really, for everyone concerned…& oh, how to live it!? “God is calling from deficit”, that’s it! We were seeing how He comes to our weakness & longing, the very place we have nothing to offer…but yes. In praying for my daughter I said, “He’s put yearning in your heart, & He is the yearning of those He brings that don’t know what they yearn for.” They barricade their longing. The next day the Lord… Read more »
This line reminds me of Peter and my current path. “From the dream of being heroes to the souls dark night” Don and Christine have been poured out with His life. I am experiencing much the same journey in many ways. It is the narrow path of being broken and His life being poured out to and through us!
Dearest John, I am receiving this as a great blessing. I’ve struggled for years with the guilt of denying my own children the blessing of a godly father to grow up with because of my choices and divorce. Now, I am seeing it is the sovereign love of God to not only be a father to them, but to be a father’s love through them to their children and others. How perfect are His ways. Love you so.