Toxic shame makes a negative “I am” statement against our self. Statements like, “I am worthless! I am disgusting! I am stupid! I am flawed! I am not enough! I am of no value!” All these shame statements assign, as well as labels us, as unworthy and contemptible. These types of I am statements go counter to our actual creation as fearfully and wonderfully made and counter to what the great I AM thinks of us.
Our “I am” statements and beliefs always need to stem from the truth of who The Great I AM, says I am. When I defined myself apart from my God, I usually relegate myself to my least common denominator, which is shame. My judgments against myself come out in my labels against myself. Shame is the result, which leads to separation and isolation.
Responding to Toxic Shame
Instinctually we know when others are in shame. We see it and we typically respond by rejecting the one in shame. Those in shame have rejection of themself, which is perpetrated by indulging this toxic shame. This course tempts others to respond with rejection of us. Imagine our shame can lead others to shame us in response to our shame! I know this by extensive experience. I lived in shame and shame was the response of others.
It was years before I started to deal with my toxic shame. And many had to stand in the gap to counter my shaming messaging. It was men and women, lead by the Spirit, who countered my statements of shame. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for this. These individuals had to run against the tide of shame I accepted and received and say, “NO, that is not who you are!”
Christ Defeating Shame
Christ is so perfect in how He rescues us from the shame messages we believe and put out there into the world. I have found it takes time to turn that tide, but it can be done. It sometimes takes others rejecting our messages and turn the tide. The Holy Spirit is immensely committed to defeating these debilitating beliefs. He will set men and women in our path to literally oppose us and speak His truth. This is what I feel called to do in men’s lives and I pray I can be for others, what others have been for me. It is a worthwhile endeavor and one whose fruit is life!
We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
2 Corinthians 10:5 NLT & NKJV