But I Want It!

Cool Jesus

Martha has an amazing quote in the Conquered by the Blood CD series. In it she says, “If you don’t come from the depths of your repentance to the solution of the Blood, your repentance has no value and you will not change.” This is so amazing to me!

In our culture we have put such faith in our desire as a source to achieve our goals. In essence, if I want it, I should have it. If it happens to not be at Walmart then certainly I can get it online. My desire has been elevated to a high pinnacle. Desire and demand have become synonymous and answer-fulfillment is a given. But in my life, I’ve learned that this does not translate in my relationship with God.

Okay, so I’m an only child.  I’m not spoiled but I do maneuver through my world with a certain determination. I’ve been entitled for sure, coupled with bitterness…but I pray the Lord has killed that. What has lingered, however, is that I’ve always believed that my desire should be met with fulfillment. “Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us…  Have it your way!” Burger King and many others have catered to my rights to be satisfied.

I grew up with BIG desire! And I believe God gave me desire for Himself. You see, a man cannot desire God without the Spirit of the Living God moving upon His heart. I love Him because He first loved me. The Spirit brings us to desire that He wants to fulfill. I felt like that should be matched by His immediate satisfaction. He should fulfill my desire when I demand it, right? Even though the Spirit moves on my heart to give me desire for Him, I still have to come His way for my fulfillment. The Lord’s not a magic genie in a lamp. Nor is He a benevolent Santa Claus bringing me all my wishes and stated desires.

But this is what has always floored me: desire is not the basis for relationship with God. He doesn’t put as much stock into desire as I do. “We’re friends, God, so shouldn’t you come and be my friend?” No! Though I may try to minimize His Lordship, the reality is that He’s my sovereign God! And He isn’t moved by my great desire; the Blood of His Son moves Him.

I’ve believed that desire was my qualification for relationship with God. I have even heard it preached, “Jesus is your buddy!” But what I’ve learned is that desire is but a gift giving me a motivation to go through the actual process of having relationship with God. My real relationship with God is found as I am Blood-washed and cleansed through and through. That’s where I have right of entrance and can come boldly in to dwell with Him.

The Blood is my passage into fellowship—and more than fellowship, union. In the Blood I’m made to resemble Him. I can be holy as He is holy. That holiness does not come through acting holy but through receiving One who is holy. I’m made whiter than snow through a Blood sacrifice, not by pure performance. I’m not going to desire my way into His presence, nor am I going to behave myself into relationship. If I could’ve just acted right to be in right standing with Him, why did He have to die? If I could’ve just desired my way into His throne room, again, why did He have to die? Neither of these gives me right of passage; it’s only through the Blood.

No matter how earnestly I communicate my desire to Him, He answers only to the Blood. Frighteningly, we often value desire over the Blood. I’ve thought that desire to be forgiven was enough to redeem me from sins. This is elevating something above His genuine Answer—the Blood of Christ. He has paid the price to purchase me back by the only acceptable sacrifice! The Blood satisfies God, so why doesn’t it satisfy me? Why would I elevate in my mind anything above God’s own choice, if I were truly currying His favor?

It’s my belief that if we don’t come to God via God’s own way, then it really isn’t God we are seeking.  If we refuse His Path, then it’s actually self we desire to satisfy. If you are pursuing a lover, you don’t do what they hate but offer what brings them pleasure. Our Lord has made a Way for our entrance, to come in via a window or back door means we’re thieves.

But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were [so] far away, through (by, in) the blood of Christ have been brought near.
Ephesians 2:13 AMP

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    • Sandy

      This was a wonderful glass of fresh, pure, and refreshing Water I just drank!

    • Tina

      Waiting on God reveals all of self-effort and expectation and brings me to a place, (indeed requires) a rest and dependency only on the blood of Christ.

    • Susan

      Our entitlements are vanishing, our desires crushed and Burger King is moving to Canada. But the blood still stands!

    • Gaby

      This is so wise, and so important!
      Thank you, John!

    • Sandy

      BTW, is that you behind the hippy Jesus statue!!?

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