If you don’t make peace with your story, accepting what God did and did not give you, then you aren’t you. A spiritual failure-to-thrive takes place. You cannot become who God dreamed you to be when you will not accept the parents He gave you.
I will be taking up a Cross daily for the rest of my earthly life, and this Cross will no doubt continue to involve old wounds and strongholds that were forged in my childhood and indelibly linked to my relationship with my mom and dad. That’s true for all of us. But there is a foundational work of forgiveness and acceptance that must take place, and it is on that work that my posts have focused.
If this basic work of making peace isn’t done, then you’ll stay one foot over the starting line until you die. All the Bible study and book reading and charity work in the world won’t get you past the gate. You will be a spiritual cripple, and a faint shadow of the person God created you to be. Your race will be over before it’s run.
Dealing with parents is just that important.
My life with God went nowhere until I said “yes” to this basic work of facing the hard truth and letting go of the hurt. Then the Spirit really took hold of my choice and honored my step in Christ’s direction. I couldn’t tell you the exact moment it happened, but the work turned into relationship without my knowing quite how. I was getting to know God and learning for myself that He was in fact worth knowing. My story was no longer about me; it was about us.
I think that the Lord gave me a passion for sharing the necessity of making peace with parents in answer to a prayer. I’d met a few people at conferences or on the phone, and they were so hungry and discouraged that it just made me cry out for them. I couldn’t grasp why they seemed to be stuck.
But more and more I believe that too many Christians play at the work of forgiveness with words, while maintaining a disengaged heart. God doesn’t care what we say; He’s on our hearts, waiting for the break, for the surrender, for the truth. God sets the terms and we don’t get to pick and choose what we are willing to do – at least, not without serious consequences.
So may the Lord Jesus Christ demolish the fear and lies and delusion that stands between us and the Love we so desperately need and want.
Psalm 51:16-17 HCSB
You do not want a sacrifice, or I would give it;
You are not pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit.
God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.
THANK YOU FATHER for Your words through this beautiful child of Yours. You knew I needed this ‘parent talk’ in more ways than one. Thank you for a repentant heart You have given me. Thank You for the work YOU ALONE are doing. You have spoken quite eloquently to me through this blog. Thank you thank you thank you!
So neat. Just in the last couple of days and especially this morning before reading this, the Lord showed me how an unmet need in childhood became my driving passion throughout my life! I have not ever really struggled with a sense of why I suffered the things I did in childhood and I have had a grace to accept the Sovereignty of God. Untangling the lies and mixed messages has been much more difficult. But today I REJOICE for it all! What was once a “crazy making reality” is now a gift. The Lord condensed it all into His… Read more »
Like living stones you all are!! Thank you for your post! Exactly what I needed to hear this moment!
“But more and more I believe that too many Christians play at the work of forgiveness with words, while maintaining a disengaged heart. God doesn’t care what we say; He’s on our hearts, waiting for the break, for the surrender, for the truth. God sets the terms and we don’t get to pick and choose what we are willing to do – at least, not without serious consequences.”
So true, Jen!! Thank you for this post!