I understand the desperation of wanting to be separated from yourself. Is that not the way He brings us to the place where we can believe? First we have to come to such desperation over the person we see in ourselves.
It reminds me of what Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the Word of God is living and active and sharper than a two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow…” I’m seeing that in the sense of our desire to be separated.
The Light of the Word brings us to
see our sin and desire the separation.
He brings us to see the wretched person that we are without Him in independence and to come to hate it like He hates it. And we have to go there because until we see how wretched, and how destructive, and how evil and anti-Christ that unredeemed person is, we will never come to the fullness of FAITH! He’s bringing us to faith, is He not?
We come to faith by the desperation,
“I must have something besides what I’ve got!”
Martha affirmed that for me by reminding me when Jesus said, “If any man come to Me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26).
You have to come to hate your old self.
And though it is a paradox, part of that “hating”
is the forgiveness of that self, and
the compassion of how hopeless we are.
The more you know your own helplessness, the more compassion you have for everybody because we’re all in the same boat. We cannot please God. We cannot do what we’re supposed to do. We can do nothing.
You have to come to a point of despair before you will seek another Life. So that’s what He orchestrates. Part of loving Him is coming to hate what He hates… in me!