In my last post I laid the foundation of accepting the parents God sovereignly chose for me. This is a bitter pill because even the best of these representatives of God are still sinful. It is impossible to escape the sin of the fathers. Just by being born of them, I inherit their generational sins and sinful propensities. While I can’t blame anyone for my sinful choices, our parents gift us with their fallenness. But there is a deep purpose hidden in everyone, God’s unfathomable and perfect plan in His choice of my parents.
God’s Sovereign Hand Over the Choice of My Parents
My reaction to God’s choice of my parents exposes my response to Him. While He doesn’t expect an unsaved child to manifest the regenerate Life, my heart is revealed through my very response to my parents. If my choice is bitterness, hatred, contempt, and reviling, it reveals my ultimate response to God and His Lordship. The purpose of our fallible parents is to lead us to our desperate need for a Savior. Inevitably, my heart will burst forth with my response to His choice.
Think about it, why is honoring parents in the “Big 10” of God’s Law? Because it is impossible to honor God without honoring the vessels He has chosen to rear us. Regardless of who they were or were not, we have to bow to His choice of our making. The fact will always remain that I will never be who I was destined to be without receiving the vessels of my making—my parents.
Struggling with His Choice
I can’t tell you how many people I know who struggle daily with this original resistance to God and the resulting bitterness. They walk out a path of strife with all the world because this first opportunity to bow was not adhered to. These individuals carry throughout their lives the struggle and conflict, and inflict it on most everyone they encounter. It is a wearying path.
And I am not allowed to simply abandon them in an attempt to avoid His sovereign choice. I have to do the work in my heart to accept His choice first and foremost. In some cases the parents simply abandon the child never to be heard from again. But their absence doesn’t give me the right to not face it with God. Or perhaps the other side of the coin is true. Maybe my parent abusively rode me like a beast of burden. Regardless of my experience, and I know some of them are simply heinous, there is a deep purpose seeded in each choice. It is my job to discover with Him the deep meaning. Again, even if I had the best of parents I am still required to do this work.
My Parents
And if I didn’t do this work as a child, it doesn’t preclude me from being able to do it now. For each of us, this is a living process and an inescapable reality. At any point in my life I can engage the work of bowing to God’s purpose, plan and choice of my parents. And by doing so I can unlock a deep mystery contained in His choice.
Here’s the good news to all this, it is possible to live a limitless life! If I resist my parents, I will be imprisoned, but if I do the work with God I can enter His freedom and liberty which is amazing. First, if I want to live a limitless life I have to receive the Lord’s limitations on my life. All the constraints on my life are intended to lead me into an encounter with my Sovereign God. Parents, with all their frailty and failings, ultimately can corral me to the God who is over every ruler on this earth. Yielding to Him, His choice, and His authoring of my life will lead me into the realm of His Omni-possibilities.
Again this doesn’t issue a pass for the abuse or mistreatment of a child, but I promise, there is a purpose beyond the seeing. Sovereignty is a deep mystery, but for those who do the work, their path can not only be redeemed but lead to a glory and resurrection. We can live in an unexplainable Peace, the peace we have so fervently sought within the years of strife.
The Word
This is the only one of the ten commandments with a promise:
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”
Exodus 20:12
There is a generation (class of people) that curses its father and does not bless its mother.
There’s a generation (class of people) that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness.
There is a generation (class of people)—oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are raised in arrogance.
There is a generation (class of people) whose teeth are like swords and whose jaw teeth are like knives, to devour the afflicted from the earth and the needy from among men.
The leech has two daughters, “Give, give!” There are three things that are never satisfied, four that do not say, “It is enough”:
Sheol, and the barren womb, Earth that is never satisfied with water, and fire that never says, “It is enough.”
The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young vultures will devour it.
Proverbs 30:11-17 AMP
Hey! I’m totally late in commenting! ? But I really want to so, here I am!! I realize that whatever the injustice I may have suffered by my parents, great or small, the feelings that have swelled up inside me are always the same… So, fixing the injustice itself, or changing the parent, will not bring me the closure I need except what you said…receiving it all from God! And that, my friend, is the most beautiful statement in your posts this week!!❤ And, it seems to me, that the deeper we get hurt by the offences of others, it… Read more »
To see it is from Him is to give Him not only the ability take us through it, but receive His full blessing. It is outstanding! When He is Lord of even the choice, then He can be Lord in totality over it all. Love you Sandy!
Amen. Reconciliation in my heart with parents = reconciliation in my heart with God. How can we hope to forgive and live at peace with spouses, siblings, friends, children, those in the Body, without first letting God do the work in our heart with our parents. We think it is inconsequential but it is foundational to our other relationships. Thank ya’ll for bringing this concept to light.
So perfectly stated Celia! Thank you for receiving the message! It has been Life for me as well. Love you!
Thank you and bless you for this critical lesson for my life (for certain) and the encouragement within it to pursue God’s purposes and plans for our lives from the very beginning. Because of my critical nature, I believed I could do a better job of parenting than my parents. Oh the audacity and yet in pondering your writing, I was taken to a night when I mocked my earthly dad watching a boxing match. HE would really get into the match. Friday Night Fights…..I stood in back of him and mocked his hitting motions…….he must have seen me in… Read more »
Amen! Thank you John and Sue!
It is a life lesson we all have to embark on. Our choice is either Life or death, isn’t it?! Thanking God for His utter grace to let each of us go through it, and His persistence to show us what we need to see. Love you Sue!