Why would I want to explore the topic of shame? The long story short, shame prevents us from accessing, receiving and giving love. Shame makes us turtle and hide. Love is an outward display and a vulnerable expression, shame on the other hand, drives us inward.
Oh shame is a disastrous cancer in our soul. It annihilates our confidence and life. I have had much shame in my life. I experience body shaming as a child, shame for being who I was created to be, shame for loving. Shame has been destructive in my life.
The effects of shame has caused me to limit my life and cap Christ’s expression in me. As I recount the many levels of shame I have experienced in my life I realize just how much bondage shame created.
Shame is Shaming
For instance, I am a demonstrative, animated person. I love big with my whole heart! My emotions are displayed clearly on my face. If you want to know what I am thinking all you have to do is look at my face. As I grew up, this was a trigger for those who wanted to bully me and I learned to shut myself down rather than feel. It wasn’t like I was able to just throw a blanket over my emotions, I had to kill my heart to not feel. This is shame!
Why would I do this, because shame causes us to hide. Shame tempts us to commit suicide on our heart and life. I thought it was just easier to die in my heart than to expose it to ridicule. Shame was a motivating force that kept me far from myself. And the longer I dwelt in shame the greater it got.
Whether our sin is about our sin or self, it literally prevents us from connecting to God in that area. I know many brothers in recovery from addiction who lived in shame and this shame kept them in the very sin in which they were ashamed. When they came to the light with other brothers, the power of shame was broken and then they could access the freedom they so longed to receive.
Shameful View of God’s Creation
As far as body shame, as I said I suffered for years as a child with body image shame. I was ashamed of the body the Father gave me. One day the Lord addressed this with me. “I made your body, I love your body, I am proud of what I made, and I think it is beautiful…I want you to own it as the gift that it is!” Oh this was difficult! For years I lived in shame and now the Father is telling me to abandon this fear and shame and own what He gave me. Wow!
I followed the Lord in this. I walked with the Spirit in how to receive His gift of my body. It was a hugely powerful experience, and on the opposite side of this dealing, I have taken on His view, leaving my own. No, I am not conceded or haughty, I just live in gratitude and thanks. I am who HE made me to be, and there is a freedom in this. I no longer dwell in shame and there is a confidence that has been established to adopt His view.
Again, shame deeply affects our view of God and self. Shame skews our vision of reality but the Spirit of God can walk us out of it. The process is to receive His mind and thoughts about things. It is about living vulnerable to His assessments. It is to leave the death and darkness of shame and the control of trying to manage our humanity. Our Shepherd is so much better at managing our life and struggles. He guides us into His truth and away from shame. Shame is just condemnation and Satan inspired self-hatred. I have never seen shame bring benefit because shame imprisons us, holding us under. There is no hope in shame, where as conviction and remorse leads us to Him who is our Solution.
Origin of Shame
As with Adam and Eve, their shame set a blockade between them and God. And like our original parent, He has to come and rescue us from our dark separating choice. He is so willing and able to liberate and save us from shame. All we have to do is agree with His analysis of our situation and follow Christ into His truth.
In a willingness to know my heart in the open, I began to know His. Childhood shame bled into my heart, ‘I shouldn’t even be here’. Hurting ones refuse love, run from it, fight against it…fight ‘you’…Real Love that is. Fighting God, but can’t admit such a thing. I did that, trying to re-form me. You powerfully condensed it John, “Living vulnerable to His assessments”. Now that is a banner at hearts door! I’ve blurted out, ‘I will not limit God to ‘me’!’ I do not think we just say these things… The Spirit stirs it in us, takes it… Read more »
The Blood REACHES, the Blood floods with Love. The Spirit enacts heart choice..before we know what we’re asking for..where we’re going..out from bondage into liberty..IN Christ. True remorse is before God, the conviction in seeing by the Spirit. Shame is unending recrimination. Ah..but the Blood REACHES! The Spirit teaches. Unintended ‘abandonment’ brings need that a child will look for a way to solve. Mine was, ‘don’t bother anyone, take care of yourself’. The Lord said, “You’re no bother, bother Me.” And He just sat with me, & i with Him. Nothing to say or do, we sat together..the communing was… Read more »
OH this intimate sharing of your shame brings me to so appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable. Your story is probably universal, at least it touches mine. Read this morning in 1Peter 2:6. For it is contained in Scripture: Look! I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and honored cornerstone, and the one who believes in HIM will never be put to shame!
All we have to do…………
Perfect scripture for this Sue! Thank you!