OK, so I have rooted around in the fire to see that anxiety is thinking apart from God. That anxiety is making laws to support my wayward thoughts. And I suffer from the due guilt for such a path. So how do I get off the rails on this crazy train?
I am learning to lean. It appears to be a life-long lesson. I can tell you that I am transformed from the hysterical man I once was, but the Lord is looking for more. As I stated I have been anxious most of my life. The Lord is looking for an eradication of any fear, doubt, worries and anxiety. He wants me to live leaning.
In my first post about anxiety, True Confessions, I spoke of Brother Lawrence and John the disciple. I believe Brother Lawrence called the place of leaning, Practicing the Presence of God. And he describes this place as “the bosom of God, for the inexpressible sweetness which I taste and experience there.” Brother Lawrence also reveals his peace and freedom from anxiety in leaning. Oh, his book makes me hungry to walk unsullied by anxiety.
Let me tell you an experience I had one day. Martha and I were visiting missionaries in Honduras, and I had the opportunity to sit alone on a porch in a paradise. Not only was I in a lush tropical farm, but I was also experiencing stillness at my core. I just wept as I realized that this was not where I daily lived. And I think it was an experience given to me by God to know there was a place I could go. The vibration in my chest was gone for an hour or so. I had NO anxiety. What a blessed place!
So what does the scripture say about leaning? Well the Amplified Bible defines faith like this: “leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness.”
So is anxiety just the antithesis of this? I believe so! Anxiety is just the leaning of the entire personality on myself, trusting confidently in my power, wisdom and goodness. Laid out like this, I see completely why the body is ravaged with fear. As I said, like a meth addict, hulled out and left void.
Jesus said He trusted Himself to NO man but “I” trust myself. Oops! He said, there is none good but One, but “I” believe my knowledge will suffice to bring about goodness. Yikes!
So here is the resolve: lean, trust and confidently rely on Him, not me! I have to wait for His defining of ALL situations. And the solution, HIM!
In my next post I will state what this looks like.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV