You know, service can sometimes make us feel less than beautiful. I know it has happened to me. I get completely focused and fixated on the doing and can loose myself. And in this losing I can feel less than attractive. But there is someone Who’s eye is on me who does still find me lovely—He calls me dark yet lovely.
Dark Yet LOVELY?
Recently I have been working on several things that have been required. It isn’t that they were optional, they were my responsibility to maintain and I did them well. But with day in and day out responsibilities we can sometimes feel more like a drone than a beauty to behold. Ask any responsible full-time mom…after a day with the kids and household chores, does she find herself stunning? Accomplished maybe, but gorgeous, probably not. Work can sometimes make us feel less than attractive.
So I asked the Father about this. Ultimately it is His eyes that I want to see smiling at me. And He gave me a scripture in the Song of Songs about being Dark yet LOVELY! It is a perfect representation of carrying a taxing responsibility and finding yourself a little lost.
The Shulamite
Jerusalem maidens, in this twilight darkness I know I am so unworthy—so in need.
The Shepherd-King
Yet you are so lovely!
The Shulamite
I feel as dark and dry as the desert tents of the wandering nomads.
The Shepherd-King
Yet you are so lovely—like the fine linen tapestry hanging in the Holy Place.
My Strenuous Service
Being dark yet lovely! My Shepherd-King finds me lovely even in my strenuous service. Even when I feel like I am beneath the waves of responsibilities, He is looking at my heart. This poor maiden felt a little ugly and less than because she had worked her stepbrother’s vineyards and left hers abandoned. Yep, she had worked so hard on jobs, and neglected herself…sound familiar?
[Please] do not look at me, [she said, for] I am swarthy. [I have worked out] in the sun and it has left its mark upon me. My stepbrothers were angry with me, and they made me keeper of the vineyards; but my own vineyard [my complexion] I have not kept.
Song of Solomon 1:5b-6 AMPC
As with my last post, I don’t necessarily have an answer for this dilemma, I just know Who the answer is. No, I don’t need to abandon self-care but life happens and the reality is, we sometimes find ourselves lost in our responsibilities. We can work so hard for others until we look at our own garden and see we’ve neglected it.
Listen, my radiant one—if you ever lose sight of me, just follow in my footsteps where I lead my lovers. Come with your burdens and cares. Come to the place near the sanctuary of my shepherds. My dearest one, let me tell you how I see you—you are so thrilling to me.
Song of Songs 1:8-9a TPT
Your post encourages my heart, John. How can I be lovely to Him when my life is filled with others, and what feels like so many…too many…responsibilities? I feel so dark, but to hear Him say that I’m lovely & then how to find sight of Him, brings tears and gives me hope. Thank you for sharing this. ♥️
Unfortunately I am in the opposite position, where my health is at a point where I am unable to do much, whereas 2 years ago I was in a ministry to hurt and broken people, now I am wondering what God is wanting me to do?
I’m grateful for each comment. The connection the Spirit gives in this way is so encouraging, ‘surrender let loose’, to go where He wanted to go. Let surrender come as it comes & look as it looks, it’s to God. The Lord can’t resist childlike hearts…& neither can we amongst one another. Our need is where we know Him, & for our weakness & need to be seen frees others to NEED in their need. “..in this twilight darkness I know I am so unworthy, so in need.” “Swarthy” says it. In the middle of ‘life happens’, I find God… Read more »
A little more context…I worked at a winery once and during the summer we dealt with grapes a lot more. One week we were handling the red ones. I was also taking a class that summer at the Community College. I vividly remember my horror as I was taking a math test. I looked down and my hands, fingernails, everything were stained, technically purple, but it looked pretty much like filth color. I wanted to explain to every other sparkling clean student how my hands weren’t really dirty, but that wasn’t an option. So vineyard work marks you and humbles… Read more »
Oh, this is where I am! Psalm 110 says let them see that You have done this Then, let them curse me if they like, but I will go on rejoicing. And You will bless me!
When we are dark and exhausted and beaten down, everyone sees. And it is not His condemnation, but the burden of responsibility that He annointed us with. Perhaps physical darkening is to show others Christ performed it, not us. And that glory goes to
Him. And because we are willing, He is glorified. My darkening is an opportunity for Him to restore. 😊
Oh, thank you so much for this, John! “Lost in our responsibilities.” But God has been so mindful; He does see and is exercising great compassion. Yesterday began as usual: had to do a,b,c, right away — self-care was definitely abandoned and didn’t even realize it until dinner time that I hadn’t had breakfast or lunch, (which lately had been the rule, not the exception; getting burned out.) Who would think you could hear His voice in this state, but here He was this morning: “Sit down…relax…enjoy a good breakfast.” That was it; nothing real ‘spiritual’ and just doing it… Read more »