Lately I have been going through a deep personal cross in my life. It has been quite a death. And in this death I have felt like I am disconnected from the Lord and forsaken. I felt like His eyes aren’t on me, even though logically I knew they are.
On our crosses, logic is not usually the thing that speaks the loudest. Our feelings are aware of our deep pain in the situation. And as I considered this, I remembered that Christ too felt forsaken on His cross. He felt disconnected from the Father and cried: “My God, My God why hath Thou forsaken Me!” This phrase is found in both Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34.
Am I Forsaken?
When we are in a personal cross we are experiencing death. And I am wondering if it is supposed to feel like we are separated from the Lord. Is this the intent? It’s obviously the greatest pain Christ endured on His cross. Forsaken! The meaning of this is abandoned, deserted, and forgotten. For the one and only Man who after the fall walked in continual union with the Father to feel deserted, that is quite a thing.
This state is not uncommon, it is actually typical of our crosses. David felt the same in his personal cross.
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?”
The death found in our personal crosses feels like actual death. It feels like separation and abandonment. And though the Bible says, “Nothing can separate us from the love of God!” We feel separated.
Looking for His Resurrection Life
In this moment I don’t have any deep revelation about this. I just have the comfort of knowing it is normal that the cross makes us feel like our Father has turn His back on us—forsaken us. To feel like our favor has waned and our heart’s are made sick. Oddly it is a comfort knowing even in our pain, we are not experiencing something unusual because Jesus Himself felt this. But in the end there is resurrection life and the glory of experiencing the Father.
So if you too are going through a personal cross. If you feel as if you are forsaken in this moment. Take heart the day of resurrection is on the way and you will once again feel the union with the Father.
I’ve learned that His anger lasts for a moment, but His loving favor lasts a lifetime! (The Septuagint reads “There is wrath in His anger but life in His will [promise].”)We may weep through the night, but at daybreak it will turn into shouts of ecstatic joy.
For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
2 Corinthians 4:17 NLT
That was beautiful.
“Love is stronger than death.” How could we even know this apart from death as death is. Could my arms be stayed to this cross, unless it be the arms of Jesus reaching around it, in claim, till its deep work is embraced. His Lamb-heart in our lamb-need. This Man, wasn’t there to save Himself. He could do nothing in independence. The cry went up, “My God, My God…” Jesus gave Himself utterly to His Destiny. The Father..Gave..His Son. My cross has felt painful, numbing, as forgotten, & for it to feel like separation is agony. This word is so… Read more »
I am so comforted when I read the post and responses
Praying for you, John. Haven’t been here for a while due to some (one right after another) deep personal crosses and didn’t want to be shamed for the feelings I was experiencing — which was, of course, a lie from the enemy. You are always encouraging and I miss receiving, sharing and the fellowship of the saints. How uncanny that this post was written for me when I least expected it. The most recent trip to the ER for Stephen, which led to a week’s stay in the hospital, was a very dark time for me; couldn’t even pray. His… Read more »
Oh how I would love to talk to you . Hosea 2:14-15….it seems cruel that the Father will allure or entice us into the desert? the wilderness….the very place of death, no water, no vegetation. No sign of Him ….but the promise remains. There in that place He will speak comfort(eventually) and the exchange of the valley of weeping for entering a place of hope. And He says there in that place of desolation He will teach you to sing. You will be comforted, you will have hope and you will sing again. Wait for it….wait for it….the best part… Read more »
Prayers. Since early 2021, I went through two life rocking experiences, one on the heels of the other just as I thought I was being some recalibration. I would pray, “Lord, Hold on to me, so I don’t let go of you! And whatever happens, whatever I go through, don’t let me lose You!”. I didn’t think I would ever be in the position of not feeling like God was with me, but I did. Finally just the other day, I was again really felt the presence of the Lord where prayer, praise, reading the word wasn’t done out of… Read more »