Let me open up further the friendship with self.
I am lonely and apart from God, we all are imprisoned to loneliness.
As a result of the fall, we became aware of our nakedness. Where once we were God-conscious and focused on Him, we became self-consumed and self-focused after we ate the fruit of the garden. We became our own preoccupation. “Oh no, I AM NAKED!” This was the fruit of knowledge, and our consequence for seeking to know apart from God. But not only were we made self-aware, we also began to feel our separateness, our loneliness. Yes, the consequence of our desiring to be independent of God, also cursed us with a perpetual loneliness.
We might attempt to fill that void with people, things, and doings, but we still can’t deny the ache. So why? Again it is the consequences of our rebellious desire to be independent of our Creator. God did this so we would recognize our need of Him. We are empty without Him, but He made provision for this in our salvation.
When we get saved, our loneliness can be over. He comes in to our hearts to occupy that dark scary alone place. It is that place where no other man can enter. But that doesn’t stop us from trying.
If we seek a person to fill our void, we enter that relationship motivated to get, not give. People instinctively feel that insatiable vacuum of need. It demands to be satisfied with a supply none of us possess. I wish I could say I have never approached another person with that hellish demand of “Feed me, Seymour!” But alas I cannot. And I have sent many running from my brokenness—which is very gracious of my God. If another person had been able to satisfy my soul’s plea, I would have never heard Christ’s petition to look to God. My void was my gift, not my curse!
So from the point of my salvation, I was called to get to know my Occupier. My endless seeking to find a person to meet my need could be over. I could be intact rather than broken. I can be satisfied with One who is closer than any other. No one could be closer than to live inside me. So Christ’s answer for my curse of separateness is to live inside of me. I am made NEW.
Again, I wish I could say that I have done this perfectly . . . but uh, no! I have still sought from others. Even if nothing was said . . . my communication was still loud. I believe God thwarts me at every turn, and I think He does the same for all who call Him Lord. It is His kindness! I have been rescued from the curse, and He became the Solution. My God-consciousness is restored as my thoughts emanate from His mind, and His indwelling my being destroys my separateness!
Oh the wonder! All my relationships can begin and end in Him. The soul-sucking harpy is gone to the grave and I’m NEW. The fruit of His indwelling is seen when there is stillness, and I experience solitude rather than septic stagnation. It’s sweet surrender rather than unending strife.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed,
for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 ESV